Everyone seeks happiness in their own manner. However, we often lose sight of what makes us happy throughout this hunt.
Thus, we do things we think we should do but that purposely deprive us of happiness, even if we are unaware.
We allow most of the things we think we must do to be happy to steal our happiness and eat us.
These thieves appear as societal conventionalisms to which we surrender in a demonstration of freedom to reach enjoyment that is elsewhere.
“Happiness is not manufactured; it comes from your actions.”
Dalai Lama
Humans seek to please and connect with others to feel like we belong in the group.
Beyond the drive to belong, people typically adapt without speaking up or objecting.
Many think they must submit to be accepted.
Due to insecurity, they give up their own interests and ideas to follow the group.
They believe in integration and want happiness for all. Individuals may hide their values and thoughts to meet group standards.
Listening to others' advise is one thing, but simply believing all they say and following all their advice without questioning anything or considering our own principles is another.
If our authoritative figures instructed us to mindlessly follow their instructions from an early age, we become docile and subservient adults who, afraid of making decisions, prefer that others think for us and take on our duties.
Instead of following their heart and forging their own route, many individuals prefer to follow orders and follow a path established for others, a path that supposedly seeks the common good and the best for the majority.
However, this approach does not allow for critical thinking or the discovery of our true selves.
If you do what others want and live to please them, you will be behaving for their satisfaction, not your own. “But I can't choose” is pointless at this point.
Being free means you always have a choice. Another difference is choosing the easiest or least unpleasant alternative, at least temporarily.
Even if people pretend they want the best for you, they are really only concerned about themselves.
When others try to control your choices or prevent you from deviating from their expectations, they place resistance on you.
We were raised to be distracted. We're always doing things that don't help us and require our attention.
With constant distraction, confusion and mental unrest overwhelm us.
It is difficult to set a real objective and know what we need to do to achieve it in these situations. These interruptions steal our peace.
We must ignore these distractions and focus on what matters—the things that bring us joy and help us be our best.
Aiming for perfection also saps happiness.
But perfection doesn't exist. Development and improvement are lifelong.
Since we focus on the defects, trying to make everything ideal inhibits us from enjoying ourselves and what we have.
The pursuit of perfection causes stress, drives us to control others, and fuels our disappointment, guilt, and self-hatred.