Leaving my iPhone...for a sliding phone.

In this generation, our goal is to be as connected as possible. While we do that, we ultimately become, truly, disconnected.

In the morning, the first thing we do is check our phone.

And I did just that, yesterday morning, searching through my social media feeds and my emails. Even during my morning walks, while listening to daily podcasts, I worry about my forever growing inbox and endless circles on the upper right of every application. I spend hours watching YouTube creators and feeling endlessly guilty for not being productive. I would find myself looking up every once in a while, seeing the world moving around me, and I would be worried about what others were doing, and what I would share next. What picture could I take to make my life look a little more appealing? I know that's a lie; my life remained similar to the lives around me. Spending my time looking at a screen was depriving me of so much. In this generation, our goal is to be as connected as possible. While we do that, we ultimately become, honestly, disconnected. Through the mass sharing of personal information, we lose sincerity and what makes sharing valuable: connection. We lose each other behind the number and statistics of followers and likes. And I'm not trying to place myself on a pedestal for pointing it out, in fact, I'm just as guilty as the rest of us. Anyone who doesn't admit that is one of many.The past few months, I have been using an app entitled "Moment," which tracks the amount of time that I spend on my phone, what apps I use the most, and how many times I pick it up. Before downloading this app, I considered myself better than my peers with hundreds of meaningless Snapchat streaks, but I'm sure that I use my phone more than them. 

Every adult has told me that a phone should be used to enhance and intensify the quality of work, production, and connection. After looking at these statistics, I knew that my iPhone had become a weakness and a debilitating factor in my life. I lose myself in niche communities, watching that work that other people have created from a distance. There is nothing wrong with absorbing creativity--in fact, I'd say that it is beneficial in many ways and I would encourage it. The line between fusing creativity and drenching myself in too much material that I become overwhelmed is far too slim. The autoplay will play the next video, and I'll respond with "someday, I'll make something like that."This time when my eyes wandered above the screen, I saw everything that I missed. I fished out a Pantech, a sliding keyboard phone, out of our recycled electronics drawer, grabbed a micro USB and a SIM converter. My anger for the loss of my time had grown to an extent in which I had to cut myself off. So, I welcome my fifth-grade phone back into my world. I looked through the photos of children and peers who were smiling and looking for something new and exciting. Even though I have only done this for a day, my productivity and creativity have spiked tremendously; I look up more often because whatever I'm looking down at is integrated with my stream of consciousness, and adds value to my life. I can keep in private and vital connection with the people that I care about, and my eyes can connect to the world that is passing so quickly around me.