LOUD THOUGHTS

You know each day I tell myself "You're gonna love yourself from now on, no boys. No unnecessary feelings". And then someone from nowhere will come and give you the attention you desire. Talk with you like you matter. Do things for you without looking back. And then slowly and gradually those walls you built round about you will begin to crumble. I tell myself "this ain't happening, I shouldn't be bringing down these walls" but no matter how hard I try to put it up, the faster it crumbles. When you've completely given in, you find out that all the love, care and attention showered has been destroyed with just one thought, just one word, just one action. And then you are left alone to carry the unbearable burden of hurt. Sometimes I just wish I could tell my heart whom to love.