The Near-Death Experience
I heard a voice tell me as I was slowly losing consciousness in the CAT scan machine. A peaceful feeling swept over me and I felt ready to embark on a journey back home – wherever that might be. It felt like my soul knew the way and something was about to guide me.
I’ve recently been finding myself in conversations about life and death. I am not too sure why, but a few people have asked me whether or not I believe in reincarnation or life after death. As I was explaining my near-death experience to someone, I began to realize I do not even know the answer to this question.
When I was slowly dying in the emergency room because of internal bleeding, I felt a sense that I was going home. I heard this voice reassure me that I was going home and going back to the stars -- where we all come from. I cannot put this experience into words since it is quite ineffable and there are no words to describe the feeling that I felt. All I know is that I felt at peace with death and I was excited to embark on this new journey that felt so familiar.
IT FELT LIKE MY SOUL KNEW THE WAY. SOMETHING OR SOMEONE WAS ABOUT TO SHOW ME THE WAY BACK HOME.
I woke up in the intensive care unit. I was so confused about what had just happened. Over the next few days, new emotions would emerge from within me. I felt confused. I felt lost and upset. I kept asking, “why am I still alive?”
This experience messed with my mind. It left me with so many questions. I felt like I had gone somewhere, but could not figure out where I went. I felt like there was still a piece of me floating around in the cosmos. I guess I came back here for a reason, right? It was like I was suffering from an amnesia from another life. There was just the smallest faint feeling left inside my body that continued to ask questions.
While this experience left me feeling high on life for a few months and also gave me a new appreciation for life, I eventually hit a cosmic rock bottom. The confusion began again. I was so curious and so hungry to know what happened that night of my snowboarding accident. The mundane began taking a toll on me psychologically. I could not focus on normal teenage things. My mind was occupied by these bigger existential life questions.
This cosmic rock bottom eventually led to some pretty heavy emotions. I thought about death often. That peaceful escape from the Hell that we have created here on Earth seemed appealing and welcoming. I began to detach from myself and felt that this world is not my home. I felt as if I belonged somewhere else. My soul was yearning for something more. I began of journey of self-exploration and self-discovery to help me better understand my relationship to the world.
I began seeking out novel experiences. Many of these experiences opened me up so much and helped to shed light onto some of my biggest questions. I stumbled across Transpersonal Breathwork, and really began processing my near-death experience. I relived parts of my accident and re-experienced the spiritual aspect of death -- transcending my body and getting a glimpse of the other side of this veil. Over the years I have switched my stance. This is life and world not Hell, but this life is a complete blessing and made of magic. Life is the most spiritual experience that you will ever experience and also be part of.
Is There an Afterlife?
While I can only speak from my experience, I would say that there is, but it is not a place where we go and hang out for a while. I have a profound sense that we go back to the stars. We go back to the source where we come from. Life is a training ground for souls to engage in deep transformational work. To understand what it means to be in a body. To embody our spiritual beliefs and put them into action.
After my accident, I felt confused why I was still alive. Today, I realize that I am alive because I decided to come back to engage in this learning process. We should not be asking ourselves, “Is there an afterlife?” We should be asking ourselves, “How do I prepare for this transition into death?” We only have so much time here on Earth, how are you going to spend it?
Our lives are much like the seeds in nature. Suffering and the darkness cracks the seed open. We grow tall. Some of us produce flowers and fruits. Some of us leave this Earth before we ever produce anything but a few leaves. We produce seeds, and then return to the Earth. And the cycle begins again.
To quote Pierre Teilhard de Chardin:
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
This life is your opportunity to grow, learn, experience, and to engage in your soul’s work and purpose.
I am leaving this question semi-open ended because I think it is our job to really engage in the world to figure out what it means to be alive, not what it means to die. Death is just a transition into something new. What awaits on the other side is up to you.
What are your thoughts? Let me know below!
Seems like you came close to having the same experience again. I think that having touched a source, it is useful to learn how to return there consciously, rather than by accident. Then we may better discuss the nature of those states of mind.
Upvoted by @AAKOM, a new forum for esoteric and exoteric sciences - request signup here.
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I agree, definitely useful to learn how to navigate the space consciously. Breathwork is a wonderful tool for exploring these states. As well as meditation and many other techniques.
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Thanks for sharing your experience; I upvoted. I often think about the possibility that we return to a unity consciousness after death, and then our energy is used for more cosmic activity, for the sake of progress and development. I do not believe in heaven and hell. But I do believe that something happens to "us" (our "souls", not our egos) after death.
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Thanks for sharing! I like that idea of "our energy is used for more cosmic activity." I like to think along the same lines - whatever that cosmic activity may be.
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psyexplorer!! Thank you, your Post.
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Thanks for checking it out! :)
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My hypothesis on this is influenced by this article from National Geographic and this article, along with my status as a cognitive science healthcare provider.
Verified in rats and likely similar in humans, low gamma waves connecting the brain for searching memory and our sensory areas for vision and hearing may become hypersensitive because it is aware of a crisis (death). This causes sensations of light, ability to hear conversations while dead, and since the ears are involved with balance, the floating sensation.
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Interesting, thanks for sharing those articles and thoughts! I got back and forth. I find neuroscience to be fascinating, and believe that much of our experience is chemical and electrical reactions, in some sense. But, I also question it - what does that even mean? I tend to take the stance of Dr. Stanislav Grof - We understand how th TV works and everything within the TV set needs to be there for the signal to come through, but you don't go looking into the TV set to find the picture. It simply does not exist.
Psychedelic research is also really fascinating and helping to shed light on consciousness research. For example, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, psilocybin, seems to decrease blood flow to the default mode network, which is like the "orchestrator of self." With decreased blood flow, this region of the brain simply begins to take in whatever, and has a hard time accurately predicting and making sense of the external world. This region also seems to control perception of self, ego, and etc. More information about this - Dr. Carhart-Harris
I find the science and research to be fascinating. But I always get caught up on -- ok, so we know what's going on in the brain, but what does that actually really mean? Maybe these are mechanism that need to happen to produce an experience?
I found this quote in the Atlantic article to be funny/true:
Ah, so many questions and thoughts! Thanks again for sharing!
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I technically disagree with your example of the television. I argue that the image is perceivable within the television in that moment, our perception of a collection of lights produced on the screen of the television. It sounds similar to the example in the article that argues the opposite.
I assumed that quote would resonate haha. In my opinion, 100% understanding the neuroscience behind the feelings of a "soul" and a "collective consciousness" is unnecessary for benefiting from the experience. I am glad to hear it has helped you focus on living rather than wasted on fear and anxiety about death. Thanks for the discussion, looking forward to having more!
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