KILL MY OWN ANIMAL - after 10 years of vegetarianism

I am a vegetarian for around 10 years ago, with ups and downs. and now I feel like coming back to meet, but only if I will kill my own animal. Nowadays, my diet is based on veggies 90%, diaries 7% and fish 3% (more or les s :))) )

I wouldn't go for the the meet in supermarkets, I wouldn't even go for ecological one. The first meat I am going to eat I am gonna kill myself. This is how things should be honestly! It you want to enjoy the pleasure of having meat on your table, you should make it happen. Or at least, have the guts of seeing how it is the killing, to be the witness there. Or at least to watch some constant documentaries or videos on the internet that explain the process. And after doing all of this, if you can still eat meat with a clean consciousness, just do it!

I remember exactly one moment when I said I wouldn't touch meat again, it was in august 2010 and I felt the life full in every being and I couldn't have taken it away. I couldn't have had the heart and the courage to kill a insect, a bird or an animal. But now I do. Now I know myself better and my body says YES, my mind say YES and my heart is saying that ONLY if I will be capable of taking life myself, I will do it.

On a rational level, I totally disagree with what is happening nowadays, with the consumerism society and with the way the animals are being treated and the way they are being caged and the way they are being killed for the mass consumption. I totally disagree with the impact on the environment and of climate change by taking huge amounts of land and planting food for the animals, in order to eat them.

Now we have the privilege to choose what we can eat. The majority of us have this immense luck of the options of being vegan or vegetarian or meat eater or whatever. We are not starving, we are not in the need of animal killings or this plant killing or whatever killing to survive. We have a chose. We are so lucky nowadays that we can not even realize it.

After all this years I learned to listen to my body and my body says YES! On a rational level, I THINK of becoming a vegan, but on a phisical level, i FEEL like eating meet. Such a dissonance, no? :) But as I need to be in armony with my self, I found a temporary solution as well - I will be quitting all this diary mass products and I will only eat if they are homemade or grown locally and with heart and in the same time, I will start killing my own animal.

It will be a chicken. Not a pig, not a cow, not a goat, not a dog. Just a chicken. And I will pay the respect to it and give him and give me also kind of ceremony and then sacrifice it. For my own personal good, I admit. For my own strength and for my own pleasure. I guess the AVATAR scene when they are blessing the dead animals impact me deeply. You can kill irrationally without thinking of it (by just eating meat from supermaket) or you can kill full of consciousness and with the payed respect if you choose to.

May sound very weird this article, but I feel like having a change into my life - a conscious change and live life by choosing death.