Manic Tuesday
Weird how Tuesdays turn-out to be more manic than Mondays. And just in case you are wondering, yes I am still in the same job. But I am still actively looking for better employment opportunities outside the office.
Just about a week ago, I talked with a 21 year old girl. She is almost fresh out of college with bare work experience. She is newly hired by our office for as a contractual employee. Ever so curious me asked her, what are her major life dreams? What is she aspiring for, that made her considered to work in this institution where we are both hired?
Of course, what a shocking question could it be? Right? Well, in a nutshell, she said that she wants to be a digital artist - the one that draws animations. I asked, if that is the case where is it you really dream to be? It took her 3 minutes to get me an answer and she said,
_"I want to be hired in Disney". _
"Why?" , I asked.
"Because it is such a big and reputable company to be at. But I have given up on that dream because it seems IMPOSSIBLE to get in there"
"Dream big enough that it scares you", I told her.
If I was asked where and what I wanted to be after college graduation, I would say I want to be what I am right now and where I am right now. What I did not realize was, I would get and live the dream that fast. Now that I am in this institution where I am currently working at, I do not know where to be next. Maybe I did not big enough, I got it so fast now, I do not know where to go next. Or what would the next step be.
Now, I am thinking of getting a scholarship abroad as a next step. I am also contemplating of migrating somewhere else. At least, it is a long term goal that I can work on. It gives me something to look forward to each day.
I know that as I write down my thoughts and feelings in this website (or social media platform?) I am sending it to a void. Sometimes, I wish, I can find someone who will not be tired to listen to my thoughts or what is going on inside my head.
When I was 20, I found someone who enjoyed conversing with me and really spent a lot of time (hours and hours) talking to me. But he had personal issues that I just cannot handle. Then, those who came after that are just not open enough to share some talk therapy. I mean, hello void, is there still anyone out there for me? I am just so tired of being with WRONG guys. I end-up even chasing them. Seems as though they do not even give a damn.