Selfishness - Expectations - The Reach Of Your Arms (An Original Work.)

sammosk (71) in life • 7 years ago

I ask myself this question all the time, where should my expectations end and the reality begin?

Perhaps a bit of context is required here, I have spent a vast portion of my life doing what others thought was best for me, causing great distress to myself but I obeyed because of factors like age, relationship (familial or friend, coworker or boss) because well they were older, wiser, more successful, so I should try to emulate and listen, right?

WRONG.

Ultimately I discovered that a large portion of the humans out there operated on a mode of WIIFM. (Whats In It For Me). Fundamentally selfish creatures who seek to shape the environment around them to suit themselves and call this success.

So the longer you engage in fulfilling others expectations the more impositions you will find layered upon you until you end up essentially a slave to that environment.

I spent a long time trying to work up a solution, for it is pointless to narrow down a problem if there is no possible solution. Because a method that is singular and has no possible replacement must be the best possible method (due to it being the only one).

And my idea was thus, if we could all just consider that our environment is personal, and only extends to the reach of our arms. Then the moment something steps outside that reach is the shared communal space and we are being selfish to impose our will upon the users.

This is the gray area where if you choose to participate in it you have to be mindful of your actions, others, to be considerate and accepting.

Now the quandary comes in that is it selfish of me to want to improve the shared environment because I disagree with how things are going? That I can see it ultimately ending in a very negative self orientated world?

So I pose it as a choice, you are free to make your choices dearest reader, I just hope you make the most enlightened one.

Try a fresh branch, blaze a new trail.

Much love. <3

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7 years ago by sammosk (71)

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unspeakableme (51) · 7 years ago

I think it depends on the person how willing they are to push the boundaries between their expectations and reality. It's a balancing act. are you expecting too high from people you know can't deliver? Are you expecting too low from people you know can actually deliver? One has to assess his environment closely to be able to make realistic expectations. Even if one, for example, wants improvement for the community, if the rest don't share the vision, I think that'll be a problem. Ultimately, it's about finding the right place to be in that you can nurture and build.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago (edited)

I agree, which is why the only expectations I try to have are the ones upon myself. Thank you for sharing. Insightful. <3

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helpingothers (39) · 7 years ago

Interesting, yeah i've kinda been gravitating towards that mindset too after something that happened to me a few days ago, it sucks.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

Care to share? <3

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helpingothers (39) · 7 years ago

Well, not sure if it directly relates to your post, but it kinda touches into the "selfish" nature, I helped one of my friends make a lot of money, but when it came down to helping me in my endeavors, they kinda just said "screw you".

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago (edited)

Sounds relevant to me. And unfortunate. I would hesitate to call that individual a friend. Thank you for sharing. <3

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kubbyelizabeth (66) · 7 years ago

Well said, live and learn..

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

Thank you for your comment <3

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wandrnrose7 (65) · 7 years ago

In world of WIFM, it's easy to get lost in material pursuits. I have a very giving nature and sometimes find it hard to be selfish, believe it or not. For the majority of my life I put myself last on the list. I've only learned and the last decade to find some balance. If I need something or I want something I have learned to ask more freely than before. I have found that giving is the most rewarding thing that I can do, whether it is my time or my money or my affection.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

I strive for balance in all things, ying and yang. <3

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wandrnrose7 (65) · 7 years ago

Balance, I find, is crucial.

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creativesoul (59) · 7 years ago

I would be interested to hear your view on exactly how improving the shared environment could ultimately end in a very negative self orientated world. I think that improving the shared environment is important for problems that plague society even if they are on a small scale.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

Because in some ways it is endorsing the selfishness inside me, pushing my will upon the world. And if everyone did this we would be in a quite the mess.

So I leave it as a choice, you can choose which way you want your sail to hold against the wind, and what direction your compass swings.

Because imo, change that does not come from within will eventually be rejected. <3

I hope this was enough elaboration for you.

Thank you for questioning. <3

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creativesoul (59) · 7 years ago

We are kind of already in quite a mess with so many individuals pushing their will on the world for the wrong reasons. I suppose the personal choice is deciding what the 'right' reason might be. Thanks for elaborating :)

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

You are welcome. <3

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isaria (74) · 7 years ago

I agree. Free will and balance are key.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

Thank you for your thoughts. :)

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somethingsubtle (56) · 7 years ago

A bit of a stoic approach. You can only really alter your reactions to the outside world and environment, and should understand what you cannot control.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago (edited)

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference <3

Nothing wrong with a bit of courage, thank you for sharing.

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elew (56) · 7 years ago (edited)

This touches on something I have been going over for years...We are taught through action/reaction, and the balance of this physical world...that we live in a duality.
I cannot help but to see it as a triality though, because there is always the third space (what you call the communal space)...always another option, a different direction.

I think you are the first person I have met who gave an example of this triality I see everywhere :)

And then there is the pebble in the pond too...where we all have an effect on the communal space simply by existing.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing, I'd love to hear your thoughts further on this.

There are so many branches we can follow, I just hope we stay on the strongest ones.

To be the first in anything is exciting for me! thank you for this gift. <3

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imperfectwonder (32) · 7 years ago

I think humans can have a naturally and inherently selfish nature and I don't think this is necessarily a fault, I think it is largely based on instinct. It is good to help the greater good but I don't think we can expect anything in return for this instinct either. I am not sure if that is cynical and my view isn't set but that's how I view it now.

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sammosk (71) · 7 years ago

interesting thought, its a tangled web we weave that's for sure. Thanks for sharing. <3

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