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My mother. She can play and rarely beats.. I didn't understand why she didn't beat much until one time i messed up. Let me tell you about this one time.
I think i was10 or 11 then. One day after lunch with nothing to do or so I thought, I decided to go watch a football game. The soccer field was a state government owned school in Sabon Gari Kano. Though a terrible footballer I loved the game.
Mum had always warned me never to leave the house without permission or stay outside past 6pm. See eh village people have been in existence long before we knew. They pushed me. My senses took a leave of absence. I was like "Mummy doesn't beat and daddy travelled". "What's the worst thing that could happen" I thought.
I was about to learn something new.
The game finished at about 7pm. My senses slowly slipped back into my brain. It was a gradual process. Every single step I took towards home more sense kept entering. My village people were releasing it to me in small doses. I guess they were done playing 'kpapangolo' with it.
With my senses fully restored and consequences of my action dawning on me i released a short fart in front of our " yard" gate. Psssss!! Relief was temporary. Cometh the hour cometh the door. As I opened the 'net' to enter the house something came out of the darkness. I didn't see it but I could feel it. It was coming for me. Then it hit me.
Right cheek first.
Daaawaaaiiii!!! My brain went ewqtuvxyzmkqp. I can't recollect if I was shocked or stunned. I didn't know when I blurted out "Mummy" . Another hit my left cheek. Deeewwuuuu!! Bloody hell!!! I saw stars . As in they literally twinkled. "Who is your mother" she screamed.
I was off balance already. Then the third one hit me behind my head. Gbimmmm!!! I opened my mouth to cry na spit come out. My brain had jammed. The last hit obliterated my whole senses. I didn't know how to cry.
How can you cry when you can't see the person hitting you? My mother turned ninja overnight. That was three solid hits without breaking a sweat and all before the net had closed.. I never left the house without permission again.😁😁😁😁😁😂😂😂😂😂