Human psychology is a very interesting subject and it is bound to be, given that a single human brain is capable of such complex ideas and thought processes that modern science still finds difficult to replicate or even understand fully.
It’s a wonderful machine, the human mind. One that creates the entirety of a person’s identity, memories, nature, preferences and intelligence. But, for an intelligent species, we haven’t yet completely understood our own selves.
Thanks to many bright minds over centuries, we have managed to gather a great deal of wisdom about the workings of our minds. Answers to many plaguing questions have quenched our thirst of knowledge of the self but still many remain.
Among many, one question still puzzles us. What does it take for us to be truly happy? Is it money? If so, just how much? Is it food, material things, health, family, or a combination of all these? If so, why do some people seem discontented even after achieving all these?
1. Constant Comparison Among Ourselves
This one is very common in our human society. We keep comparing our lives and everything in it, with others around us. We do it even with strangers whom we’ll never even see again.
Also, the corporate culture that is prevalent in today’s world doesn’t help. In fact, it facilitates such comparisons. We think that we got to have the latest and greatest things that these corporations keep pumping out so we can feel superior to others. (Not everyone does this, but a lot do!)
And it’s not only the material stuff that is the subject of our comparisons but other important as well as trivial things like health, relationships, the way we look, respect, the extra plate of fries that the person next to us has.
This comparison never allows us to be truly happy. That’s because there is always going to be something that the other person has and you don’t. Even the richest of people do not have everything they desire. It would be well for us to realise that not everything can be achieved in life so, we should spend our energy being grateful for what we have.
2. Our Curiosity/Ambitions
The human race is an ambitious race. It’s precisely the reason why we stand where we do today. It’s also the reason that the words typed on a keyboard by a person in one part of the world can be read by anyone else in the world regardless of distance and time.
Our curiosity and ambition have led us to achieve great deal for our species and will continue to do so for a long time to come. But if every cloud has a silver lining, ever rose has thorns too.
The same ambition and curiosity that have led to our many breakthroughs, can often be the reason behind our discontent. It seems like it is in our nature to remain dissatisfied, to keep looking for more, to keep questioning and trying to find answers.
Of course, at any given time the technological prowess of a species only allows it a certain portion of the questions it has. That means that there are always bound to be some unanswered ones which will be the reason for our discontent.
Conclusion
While I think that there are more reasons why we are never fully satisfied, the above mentioned reasons are what I believe to be the main reasons. In my personal opinion, I don't think we will ever be fully content with our lives. Some of us maybe but a vast majority certainly won't.
The reason for that is there will always be that 'something' that we would like to have in life. Even if we determine for ourselves exactly how much of everything we want to be truly satisfied and happy, and even if we achieve all that, there will be something else you would keep wanting to add to that list.
It is human nature. It might sound pessimistic or negative even to have this belief but we humans may not ever be satisfied. Now, who's to say if that is a good thing or a bad thing as long as we live a life worth living.
My only advice would be to be grateful for what you have. I firmly believe in the 'Law of Attraction' and so I know that if you are grateful for things in your life, you will get more of the same. Maybe, then we will all be content? Knowing that we can have anything as long as we stay grateful.
I believe so too. People never 'hold on' to what they have but rather ask for more, and this leads to being ungrateful, selfish, and always demanding (though it is okay to be selfish sometimes, but not all)
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That is exactly what happens :)
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Good post. Most people who complain never think about others . Your sight, hearing, walking, all taken for granted yet for some they have none of these . Always think so many people are a lot worse off than you
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Exactly. There is much to be grateful about :)
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This is really the basis of Austrian economics. It is human nature to constantly desire more/better. That doesn't mean someone necessarily wants more material goods, but rather than they necessarily want more fulfillment. It can come in any form.
Regardless of what form that takes, nobody is willing to trade greater perceived value for lesser perceived value. Even the so-called altruistic reasons have at their center a personal goal that outweighs the cost. It is this human dynamic that Mises writes about in Human Action.
There's nothing wrong about any of this. It simply is. In fact, as you have noted, it is what pushes us ever forward. It is what provides trade and interaction. Without this human dynamic, we'd run purely on instinct or be automatons with little variance, other than perhaps individual roles in nature.
The drive for more is a good thing. The drive to gain from every transaction is a good thing. The drive to do so at any cost and expense/harm of others is not.
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Well put sir! Agreed 100%
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because it's always high school in our brains.
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haha true!
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there's an article with that title.......which i ripped off to write this about steemit:
https://steemit.com/steemit/@stellabelle/why-it-s-always-high-school-in-steemit
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Oh yeah, I remember reading this. It was fun :D
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I may be non-human then. I am happy. Always happy. Okay sometimes I may be upset or pissed, but I often decay quickly back to my happy fundamental state ^^
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hello there Mr. Alien :D Which planet do you come from? If all your people are happy, please take me with you :P
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Care bears land? :D
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aww man, now I really want to go :D
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Nice post! I think we tend to judge ourselves in a harsh way.Let's face it been human implies never been satisfied with what we have, money, love or health.
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Very true! :)
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Living in this digital age, I am also reminded of a truism I run across, from time to time... namely that we tend to spend a lot of time on social media, which really skews our impression of reality. Think about what people share, from their lives... so we essentially end up comparing our own FULL lives to other people's "highlight reels," and come up short, by comparison... and unable to be content.
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That makes sense. This is also true of the influence of watching television (commercials, sitcoms, movies, etc.). Repeating themes in this medium, particularly in the area of romantic relationships (IMO), create a sense of "normal" that is anything but in reality, setting the grounds for all kinds of unrealistic expectations.
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the issue is that human beings struggle to find their way through life and are always struggling against expectation. I expect to have this.. or I need to be that in life. the rest is a painful reminder that we are not perfect beings and at the end of the day when expectations fail on us we get miserable... the rest is environmental, social and internal views etched into us by the world around us.
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Yes, expectations are a big reason why we are never satisfied, it's always one thing or the other.
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What a great privilege it is to have a spectrum of experience!
What a boring life we would have without boredom. What a depressing life without depression.
I want to want because the experience of lack that manifests it creates a tunnel-vacuum of anticipation and delayed gratification, and that vacuum itself, irregardless of achieving one's goals, is an enjoyable experience. The toil and the drama of trying to reach my ideal, most "perfect" state, IS the fun; it's the stuff life is made of. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson so wisely stated, "life is a journey, not a destination."
And I don't really want to be perfect, although a baser part of me isn't so convinced. Perfect would get boring REALLY fast. I'd rather struggle and not be satisfied, because it's fun to pretend like I'm a hero in the making with character flaws, plotting out his journey towards a happy ending.
It's fun to star in our own movie. It's fun to prove to ourselves that we can overcome hardships and grow from our pains. For a part of us, a part that's always with us, it's even fun to struggle ourselves out of depression. As we mature, many of us will figure out how to be more of that part of ourselves that's always content and always enjoying life, even when when we're not content or enjoying life!!!
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Nice post. Agreed that human nature is to keep wanting and seeking new sources of satisfaction...leading to problems.
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Yes sir, it is! Thanks for reading :)
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I mainly agree with all you say - but think that the media and the way corporations have constructed society are more to blame than you suggest. Our body images, our attitudes of envy and coveting material 'stuff', tends to arise from images we are being shown continually - in magazines on TV, films etc. Many of these images are constructed and don't actually exist - they only serve the consumerist system we are living within.
I'm lucky to have a good job, feeling 'in charge' and working at something I believe in. I do not seek much material stuff - as I am blessed with great friendships - and we share the wisdom that what is truly important in life is being happy with your lot - not acquisitiveness - or the latest iPhone - but sharing good times and giving / receiving love.
Of course not everyone has the chance to work in a Worker Co-operative - share in a non hierarchical system where one can feel valued and respected. I was lucky to meet some like-minded people four decades ago - that still understand the true meaning of friendship & love. But simple things like meditation on what is truly important in one's life and being grateful for it, can bring a huge amount of bliss into one's life - and rejecting the insistent advertising which tries to tell you that you are not pretty / good / rich enough - or that your life would be complete with a boob job/ pay rise / curved TV is the first step IMO.
I think that ambition to better oneself - and curiosity are inherently human - but that these traits are substantively different to any innate dissatisfaction with ones situation. The feeling that somehow one has the right to expect to 'keep up with your neighbours' and if only you married better / worked harder / upgraded your internet package - you could achieve 'happiness' is simply a convenient way to keep people working longer & harder hours for a 1% that have huge off-shore bank accounts. Happiness is never things - it is internal - being at peace with oneself.
Thanks for the excellent post - it's a really important topic that concerns us all. Peace.
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I was only holding myself back when I was mentioning the roles of media and corporates. They have a huge, huge impact on our thinking and lifestyle. But that is a discussion for some other day :)
Thanks for reading :)
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Yes - there is plenty of discussion to be had on all these ideas - I'm sure we'll continue to evaluate the issues and continue this conversation again and again. :) As I said - a very important topic - exploring why we do what we do - and how to escape wage slavery to gain freedom and happiness. We're all curious explorers! Good essay - thanks.
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I really like your enthusiasm on this :)
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I try to stay optimistic.. Lol - we can only win if we ALL win! In fact you helped inspire my latest blog 'Are you a slave to your Work' - around the content / discontent that aspect of life can breed.. so thanks :)
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There is so much truth in your words, thank you!
I think the impossibility to become fully content is also due to historical reasons. The post-war generation learned to push forward and re-build what others had destroyed. During the process a lot of them forgot how to enjoy free-time, relax and be fullfilled by what they have. When I look at my father I see that: he never ever stops, good is not good enough and success is not really celebrated. When that happens, I hug him and say: 'Hey, c´mon! You´ve done really well. Be happy, daddy!' Then he starts laughing and (supposedly) forgets about the pressure... for at least 5 minutes :-))
Happiness is a decision. I am totally convinced that happiness is found by the ones who are ready to receive it...
Again, thanks for your post, really inspiring!
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"Happiness is a decision. I am totally convinced that happiness is found by the ones who are ready to receive it...".
This. This is what everyone needs to get in their heads. Wow, such inspiring words. Thanks for this. Really :)
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You are very welcome, it´s been my pleasure and I am happy you liked it :-)
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:))
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