This Ain't the Good Ship Lollipop

Warning: Profanity Ahead

I did that mom thing where I called time out on all screens and set my kids to cleaning up. This place is sparkling. My two daughters were here for all of it. My son was not.

Look, I try to be forgiving, but as a young man, my tween needs to show up. He needs to learn it now because it is not acceptable for men to half-ass a job, call it quits and leave it to the womenfolk. And I don't think that's what he was doing. He's autistic and gets quickly overwhelmed. Picking up clutter is a challenge for him. But I know he could have done more than he did.

I'm not here for men who shirk "feminine" duties. Or any other duties. Take care of your shit.

Note: My partner gets shit done. I'm here for him.

What's bugging me here is that I do NOT want to raise another dude-bro like so many of the kids in this generation promise to be. My son knows the basics of cooking and cleaning in spite of a sensory disability that means he has to literally address one item at a time and every task takes him three times what it would take a five-year-old.

This isn't an "if someone with a disability can do it, so can you" rant. Fuck that ableist bullshit. This is a "everyone should do what they are able to" rant. Honestly, I was pissed my son took off because I know his limits and he could have done more. That's why I told him a big fat nope and gave him one more (very small) job before letting him head outside. It's also why I made sure he had 10 good minutes bouncing out his stress on the trampoline before I made him share with his sisters.

And, it's also why I paid his sisters for sticking it out to the end but did not pay him. This isn't punitive. He did his best. But if payment isn't enough to motivate him to stay on the job, he doesn't get to reap the same rewards as those who did. It's a natural consequence. We deal in those quite frequently around here.

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