There is no exact word to describe how I feel right now. I feel like everything is moving backwards even though how much I tried to move forward. Its frustrating and at the same time I feel like my fighting spirit is going down,so down and I'm afraid someone might step on it. I tell myself i can do it,I can go through all the hardship and I can bare all the problems I'm going to face. But why am I feeling this way? Can someone help me please.
A cry of desperate plea,at night I close my eyes wishing I have control over my life more. But I guess some days are easy and some days are hard too,I just have to learn to face it bravely. I just wish life is just as easy as one,two and three. Every time I dream of doing something that I like,something that I would be proud of in the future,its seems like its further than I imagined. Its too far for me to reach,out of reach to be exact. I don't want to give up now,but I feel so down I just want to cry until my tears run dry. I just hope crying can make me feel better,otherwise I would prefer crying all day if that's what it takes to have a light heart right now.
Life is not easy for everyone,so who am I to complain? I know everyone has their own problem to face and some may have a harder life than mine,so who am I to compare? I feel so down and I don't want to call this depression,I have faced more problems than this so I know I can make it. I prayed not that God take all the problems away,I prayed that God can give me more strength to face all the obstacle in life. Complaining like this wont help,whining like a child wont help me solve the issues. I have to move forward no matter how hard it is. I have to,for myself,my kids and my family. I have to fight depression for the sake of those people who loves me.
