Grief

Last year my partner died aged 38 from a very sudden illness, she was only 38. Grief is often portrayed as a seven stage process namely:

Desperate for Answers.
Bargaining.
Relapse.
Anger.
Initial Acceptance.
Redirected Hope.

It actual a great deal more complicated than this. The first thing I experienced was total shock. I was unable to to even comprehend what had happened. This became increasingly a state of anger, anger at the system that caused the death (in my opinion). One thing people don't tell you is that when you are in a relationship with someone and the die the loss of physical content is very noticeable, you crave to hug someone constantly. Eventually the sense of disbelief sinks in and 8 months later still rears it's ugly head. I have accepted now the fact that she isn't there anymore a fact that hurts like crazy,

During all of this process the best advice I have received is that grief is an individual process, a journey that we will all have to travel on when we experience loss. Grief is perfectly normal.

Since August I have learnt a great deal about what happens to someone's remains when they die and if I had my time over again I would take a very different approach which I think would have helped in the early stages of the experience. If you want to know more about how to give yourself and your loved ones a "good death" I encourage you check out the order of the good death http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/ founded by the excellent Caitlin Doughty. You can also find her youtube channel here https://www.youtube.com/user/OrderoftheGoodDeath don't worry it's not morbib.