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bendjmiller222 (64) · 8 years ago

I like the little details you added to this story to make it believable

(I know flowers from the gas station are not the classiest, but it's the effort that counts, right?)

she stuttered, and played with a front piece of her hair. She always does that when she's nervous.

It reminds me of one of my favorite things about Breaking Bad - For some reason I love the detail that the Pontiac Aztek is missing a hubcap. It's a small thing, but shows that the extra was gone for realism.

My personal long term goals are to be able to become a valued participant in steemit and have no need for a 9-5 job.

Steemit has everything I really want in a job already. The ability to help others, be creative and solve problems, and add my unique humor to this site. I couldn't really ask for a whole lot more. And while doing this I have the opportunity to meet some people that are going places with their life and not bitching and moaning, but taking initiative to move on past obstacles. While I would love to make this a career, even if the money and rewards were to stop, I would not consider steemit a failure because of the people and connections I have made.

Longer long term goals would be getting the chance to travel and support some charities that are close to my heart both here in the states and especially in my home away from home Uganda.

I'd love to know your own long term goals @sirwinchester

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2 votes

sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Nice that you have a goal already. Pursue your long term goals and you will make it!

With Steemit you can't decide if your success will be long term because you can't control the platform. And you can only travel freely if you have passive income. So if these two conditions are met, you should be able to achieve your goals after time.

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bendjmiller222 (64) · 8 years ago

That's very true, but having met people like you that are really inspirational has helped shaped my future goals. Even if steemit does not last forever, I'm sure I can succeed in the path I choose. I'm way more confident in myself and my ability to help others than I was one month ago when I joined.

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originate (67) · 8 years ago (edited)

Nice read @sirwinchester - Good tale on self realization and positive thought but not always going according to plan.

2 votes

sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

You are totally right on that, I know this picture and it's very true. You should always be prepared for unexpected Ups and Downs in life

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mgaft1 (67) · 8 years ago

The first thing that struck me about this story that it is written from man’s perspective, but the character doesn’t sound like a man. So my guess is this was written by a woman.
Secondly, the taxi driver character is extremely unconvincing. With difficulties, I can imagine a taxi driver not charging for a toll, but I cannot imagine him acting like a psychiatrist or a life coach. Also somehow I cannot imagine him speaking without a thick accent. LOL

I understand that the purpose of the story was to be a motivational instrument. Sort of like “see this guy could do this and so can you.” However, this done in kind of an invasive manner and awkwardly. Not sure of the other readers, but I don’t want to be taught how to live.
Also, the most interesting part was not whether the character would meet his wife again. Sorry, but I don’t give a flip about that woman, even though her voice sounds the most convincing and very similar to the voice of the author.

What were the protagonist’s theme and genre of his writing? Was all his stories and novels were about how he missed his wife? How was he able to bust through the tough market and convince editors? I presume it took the protagonist at least a couple of years to achieve such success. How did he manage to live all this time? Finally, how was he, a man in mid-thirties, could live without sex all this time? All these important details should be in a story.

The pictures are great, though. I really liked them.

Just my modest opinion

sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

My characters are always unique, I have also written about Claire - a woman, as you can see from my post. A writer doesn't have a gender, he has a vision! I try to tell a story how a character is, there is no right or wrong. So yes it was written by a man. I can write like a woman, like a man, like someone who's crazy - when you take a look at my profile you can see how different my content is.

I appreciate that you took the time to read through the post, and I can tell from your comment and the question you asked that you are interested.
Patrick, the character, is someone who had always loved to write (diaries, school newspapers etc). But he thought he wouldn't be able to earn money with it, and was too scared to try .
So like most people, he gave up on his dream and started working a regular job where all you do is work for someone else's dream.

Winraky changed his thought process - if he hadn't talked to him, everything would have happened differently.
Winraky will be a series, showing how he helps different people solve different problems - but not by telling them the solution, but by asking the right questions and encouraging their thought process.

thank you for your comment, upvote :)

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mgaft1 (67) · 8 years ago

I impressed with your confidence in your characters and in your writing skill. That’s refreshing.
To me, they seem wire-frame like without bodies, weight, height, appearance, real characters and some kind of a correlation with the real life. I understand your premise and what motivated you to write the story. What I don’t see if how your protagonist went through this extremely stressful situation being broke, dumped and turned out to be a winner. If I was to write such a story I’d concentrate on those moments, which are the most interesting and which you didn’t bother to flesh out as self-evident. It is one thing to be an aspired writer and a totally different to actually do it and succeed in this field in a real life.
However, who cares what I think and feel as a reader? Most importantly is what’s going on in the writer’s mind. That is the real treasure.

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mgaft1 (67) · 8 years ago

Not sure if you up to this task, but I would advise you to read this excellent story by Hemingway and see how he incorporates the internal dynamics of characters with the external dynamics of the narrative. How each of his characters is perceived by a reader as an absolutely alive person and, at the same time, how the overall short story comes across with a heavy emotional content and philosophical meaning.
The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber
https://theteacherscrate.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/the-complete-short-stories-of-ernest-hemingway-ernest-hemingway.pdf

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chris.roy (52) · 8 years ago

You´re the man

sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Thanks for this awesome inspiring quote!

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chris.roy (52) · 8 years ago

Pleasure Sir!

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magdalenaruth (42) · 8 years ago (edited)

Awwww goosebumps! Beautiful!-- Thanks sirwinchester!
i've got a few passions-- still working towards them! upvoting, following

sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Thanks for your feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Definitely try to pursue your passions as much as possible!

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magdalenaruth (42) · 8 years ago

Oh you bet-- passions are there so that we utilise the gifts given to us! Cheers!

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alexandraberg (44) · 8 years ago

wow, what an inspiring story! Crazy how a few questions can lead your thoughts in a specific direction!

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Thank you, glad you like it! Sometimes we just need a reason to bring our thoughts into the right direction

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mrs.steemit (69) · 8 years ago

Favorite story! Absolutely love the plot and can't wait for the next part!

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Thanks for your feedback!! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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kellystone6 (29) · 8 years ago

what an amazing story - how did you come up with this? Looks like the taxi driver was kind of his guardian angel this time

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Winraky is a helper for all different kinds of people - you will realize this in further episodes.

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julesatwork (36) · 8 years ago

story of my life, if you hang on and follow your passiong things get better.. Thank you for this beautiful read!

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Definitely another lesson to never give up!

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stefaniek42 (43) · 8 years ago

my biggest passion is music.. I love singing and expressing my feelings through music!

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

That's amazing! I dance so I can totally understand what you mean. You should try to stick with it as much as possible!

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team101 (61) · 8 years ago

Life has to about more than paying the rent . Pursuing your passions until you succeed is empowering but it would also be nice if the ones you love could have a place also. Good read and story line and I look forward to more!

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Thank you for your feedback! If possible, we should try to always achieve more than "just survive". Life is too short not to enjoy it!

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kathise (32) · 8 years ago

will there be a part 2 ?? How does he cope with the success as an author, and has he moved on to another relationship?

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

There will be several stories around Winraky, but not a particular part 2 about Patrick and Britney in this case ;)

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future24 (75) · 8 years ago

Nice post again and again you have my upvote. :) And congratulations for your results in just 3 hours, wow!

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truthmomma (48) · 8 years ago

I am in love with your posts and I would LOOOVE if you joined our #steemitwriteoff . Check out the details at https://steemit.com/steemitwriteoff/@truthmomma/steemit-write-off-1-theme-announcement-or-aug-18-22 . Winners take all Steem Dollars earned as well as money from donations!

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rainchen (61) · 8 years ago

Living in this world just like paying rent no money for next payment you will be kick out. Very nice inspirations writing there mate .

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sirwinchester (75) · 8 years ago

Definitely. It's crazy how much money dominates us, but in cases like this it is sadly true!

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rainchen (61) · 8 years ago

Maybe we going joining the nomad people in Africa , Alaska or even in Amazon . All you have to do is hunting for survival and keeping yourself away from malaria .

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siclone23 (38) · 8 years ago

Great story I was ingterested from the beginning. My goals in life are to live comfortably and have enough money for the basic necessities of life. So many people go through a story simialar to yours, except there is no book signing at the end. Money is one of the main reasons people break up, especially when you do not have enough.

With that being said, I have a passion for writing and hope to show readers that what I have to say has value as well. Steemit seems to be the answer for stories that end horribly with no happy ending. I'm glad that your story had a bright ending, you are a inspiration to others who have gone through the same thing.I am glad to be a part of this cause, and I hope you are too!

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soldier (71) · 8 years ago

Love it! Best story of all time!!

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