Twenty years ago, our marriage began in a very traditional way. We are both teachers, but soon the similarities between the two began to be felt. Of course it was natural. There was as much confusion as there is in normal life; But one thing is for sure, change will happen if time allows.
Husband Santy left home early for work. I got the experience of living a simple lifestyle. I sincerely believe that there is no alternative like Konkan for getting closer to nature. Therefore, there was an automatic limit to the increase in unnecessary and unwarranted needs. We insisted on the same mentality. Even today we don't have TV. So there was proper, good planning of free time. The children- Raj and priya got interested in hobbies and education. Today, they are both chess players. The available time is spent on sports. So it helped us to balance studies, hobbies, sports. The children have no complaints about it.
The job of a teacher is to get to know children and people. My husband's experience of living out of the house is great. Their method is to find the reason behind everything and come up with a solution I can talk about any subject, Initially, many acquaintances would ask me, "Does your husband talk to you?" But then, as time went on, many of our thoughts began to match. They began to guess each other. But we pause for things we can't agree on.
This does not mean that there is a big argument in life. This is because we have unknowingly decided our 'space'. My priorities and theirs will be different, but as a family we do everything together. .. As the understanding of each other grew, they all disappeared. Of course, this was accompanied by family.
I chose a full day school when choosing our children's school. Of course, both of them agreed. He thought of his opinion while building the house and with one glance it was built quickly and well. Along with some good things came bad experiences. They were guessing how to deal with it and the journey continued smoothly. Still running. Today we see family priorities more than personal matters. Kids are growing up, so we don't impose on them some ideas related to our traditional approach. Let them express their thoughts and then we find common ground. They never used the phrase 'we behaved like that, our parents behaved like that, so we are right'. We changed our lives according to our difficulties and needs. The ways of celebrating the festival, some of the customs we conveniently left, or trying something new, or finding a way between the two. As a result, the children began to understand their responsibility to speak and act.
One thing we have learned from our journey so far is that each other's independent existence is the first step towards coexistence. Therefore, respect for the opinions of others, freedom, is automatically considered. This is not something to be taken lightly, it is natural. Let it be so. So that flow of thoughts reaches even our children.
I completed my post graduate education (MA) in 2016. Passed the ‘Set’ exam in English. Of course, this was made possible by the support of husband and children. He kept encouraging me, so I could see the success. Otherwise, it would be difficult to start again after such a long break in education. Living for each other, the world like sugar in milk, these things have been going on for a long time.
Everyone thinks of material happiness and contentment. They also make the necessary efforts. But recognizing each other's space, thinking of inculcating a new idea as a family, inculcating it, building the foundation of an intelligent and knowledgeable personality in the form of children should be the priority and we are doing it as best we can.