It's been quite a couple days. Trying to avoid triggers from crazy people in your family is like walking through a hall of mirrors. Without getting into specifics I want to share what I have learned.
Skillfulness
As I posted about last week skillfulness is a skill that is learned when responding to the craziness that can be in this world. It does not mean you become a zombie and have no feelings. Getting to this point of clarity is liberating. Family trauma is imbedded and the PTSD responses are not your fault. But you have a responsibility to learn how to manage your emotions and not react to the perceived world. You also have a responsibility to respond appropriately.
Karma is not just about your actions and the reactions to you. It's about a whole system of actions, usually power based, gender based and race based. It is absolutely your right to have an emotional reaction - dissociation is the response to not understanding your rights. People in positions of power above you that abusive this knowledge are in the wrong, not you. I now have C-PTSD because of it and have to fight nearly daily recently because of dealing with people in my family that will not HEAL and want to perpetuate the abuse. I WON'T HAVE IT.
It saddens me that some people may never heal. But, it is something called RADICAL ACCEPTANCE a book title I despised for a long time because I thought love conquers all. It does not. There is no light, anywhere, but LOVE is your only hope. It may not save you but you are going to drown without it. You either seek out mental health and other people committed to loving as every action (unless otherwise warranted dealing with unconscious people, here we go again...)
Thanks for sticking with me through this difficult time 💗
Thanks for your post! I'm just working to understand what you post of people in my family who will not heal, it's difficult when you love them and when you realize that your love is unconditional but what you receive is not enough or is not what you would like, and sometimes I wonder "Will I be the wrong one?" I work at accepting, trying not to judge.
Incredibly, it helps me to breathe deeply and feel my inner balance to tolerate, not to debate, to endure, and so let it happen ...
Would not it be easier to close the cycle and wish them a good life but not walking together?
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That's what I did yesterday. It sent me on a tailspin, I'm not going to paint a pretty picture, I had to say goodbye. I want to get back to more rides on my bike and leave all this behind 💖
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I loved that! Drop and Trust! Go on! :-)
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Yes, it is something we will never understand, and neither do the people perpetuating it. We can only work on ourselves and send them love silently with our thoughts I find. Supportive people really help too.
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As you are 💖
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Love is the only healer.
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