Stability Or Novelty?

" The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. " -Marcel Proust

A World Filled With Options

Today I was headed to the grocery store with only one thing to buy on my list: salad dressing. Now going to the store with only one product in mind to buy can actually be quite the challenge because you are likely to be tempted to grab some other stuff on the way. Hence why my rule of thumb is to only shop around the aisles (never inside them – unless I know exactly which item I need to pick up). As I made my way into the aisle where the salad dressings are, I found myself looking twenty times in a row at what seemed like 40 salad dressings standing in front of me. I chilled there for a big 5 minutes, and incapable of making a decision, I exited the store.

Now I give myself at least a point here (having resisted the temptation to buy other stuff).
This is the proof that usually, having too much to choose from can actually make the choice way harder than if there was only a handful of options available. But in the digital era of today, where options and temptations are available at the tip of your finger, one has to be strong-minded to not get deluded to fall in this fantasy trap.

What Good Is Stability And Security If It’s Boring ?

While back in the day, people got married for economic reasons, today, it’s a whole new ball game. We don’t only want stability and security, we want closeness, novelty and excitement. We want the certainty that our relationship with last, yet we get bored when our lives are too predictable. We want it all, but the truth is that we can’t have it all. Each time we make a choice, we must sacrifice something, which can include our personal big appetite for novel things. Married couples, for instance, who choose to have kids, will have to sacrifice certain of their previous desires they had for the sake of their children. That’s the way it goes in each arena of our lives. We want something, we need to give up something to get it.

When things (or perhaps people) become familiar, they can lose their appeal. Yet it should be our daily job to remind ourselves of the bigger picture: sure, maybe your marriage isn’t as exciting as it used to be before the kids came along, but you are still nonetheless very grateful to have a loving spouse that you can always count on. You get the idea? It’s all too easy to get caught up into the "I want more" narrative. But sometimes, shifting our perspective can make the whole difference. You want it, but do you need it?