Understanding The Fear Of Abandonment Better Through The Concept of Object Permanence

“A humankind abandoned in its earlier formative stage becomes its own greatest threat to survival.” —Maria Montessori

Object Permanence is a concept in the field of developmental psychology that was discovered by Jean Piaget. It takes place around 8 months old, when infants come to the understanding that objects still exist, even if/when they are out of their sight.
Yet for the ones of us cultivating a deep-rooted fear of abandonment on the inside, we may fail to believe in the premise that our parents, lovers, or perhaps friends, do not cease to love us when they are out of our sight.

We mistakenly make the association in our minds that because they are out of sight, they must have taken us out of their minds.
Just like newborn infants, we wrongly assume that the disappearance of an object is to be equated with the disappearance of the existence of that object altogether.

We may be adults, yet the inner child inside of us is still screaming for our parents' reassurance that we are loved, protected, and cared for. Rather than choosing a different outcome for that inner child of ours, we take the same route we have been used to ; the one where we abandon ourselves as a result of us having been abandoned at some point during our lives.

When triggered, it's all too easy to react upon our immediate emotions, and give in to the all too powerful core belief of abandonment we hold within. Giving our emotional power away is what we've grown accustomed to do. Instead of remaining in the present moment, our mind automatically gets flooded with worst case scenarios, scenarios that us, whether consciously or not, we choose to bring to life by taking them as truths. Sadly, our mind can become a very self-sabotaging tool the moment it is left with a lack of information. Filling in the blanks is what we do best - yet it's also a job we perform in the most incorrect of ways.

Goodbyes aren't forever, but our wounded inner child hasn't yet internalized this idea.
He's still uncontrollably crying in his crib, yearning for some much needed reassurance that everything is going to be ok. While our loved ones may temporarily alleviate our worst dreaded fear by reassuring us - it is our duty and ours only to pick up this beautiful child inside of us and promise him that we will be there for him, now and forever.