" You will find in this world everything you need, if you are willing to let go of other people's approval as the primary source for your spiritual nutrition."
Romanticism + Idealism + Inflated Expectations = Unnecessary Suffering
The human mind loves to make us the recipient of unnecessary suffering, doesn’t it? I may have failed my high school maths, but I can surely do better when it comes to the mathematics of romantic love. Why do we suck at love? Because we shoot ourselves in the foot from day 1. Instead of keeping both our minds and our feet in this so called reality, we jump non sense head first into the realm of fantasy.
The sad truth is that sooner or later, real life won’t match up to our fairytale stories. Putting our blind trust into the uncertain hands of attachments and expectations is such a risky move. This isn’t to say that human beings are not to be trusted. Yet the fact is that we are such complex creatures that are prone to change our minds all the god damn time. It doesn’t help that no one ever taught us that love isn’t a feeling, but a daily choice.
We buy into a dream that doesn’t exist, thinking that romantic love is to equate bliss. Love isn’t a linear thing. It isn’t a “follow step A-B-C to ace the recipe.” It’s such a complex and difficult endeavour that if Hollywood movies were to portray it at such, we probably would have given up on the idea of pursuing it altogether. We don’t love to love. We love to be loved. And that may just be where we fuck ourselves up the most. Because right here and there, our idea of love is conditional. “I love you so long as you love me too.” “My love for you is dependent of your love for me.” “Stop loving me and you better believe that I’ll stop loving you too!”
Our Love is tied to the object of our Love. If the latter disappears, what are we left with? An empty love that doesn't love us back? Fuck that shit! We deserve better than this! We want the real deal and nothing less! We don’t ever seem to learn. We’re professional romanticizers, glorifying every domain of life is our favorite hobby. From work, to marriage, to travels, to parenthood, we love to paint the perfect picture. Life will never measure up, as our expectations are nothing short of fucked.
Everything can be taken from a woman but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose her attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose her own way.
modified from the original by @twiceuponatime especially for Miss Sabrina
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Reading this made my day. Thanks so much @onceuponatime 💜
(I think @twiceuponatime is tryna take all the credits for your work ;) )
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It seems that you share my low opinion of him!
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The way you explain things, sounds you are angry. Perhaps someone has betrayed you, I don't know really. I just want to say that don't give up on people. I relate so much with the phrase "You will find in this world everything you need, if you are willing to let go of other people's approval as the primary source for your spiritual nutrition."
But don't let this phrase make you alone. When you learn to live alone and be happy it's time to start again and meet new people, and this time relationships will be a better experience, the reality is we need to connect with other people. Also this time try to explain other people all your thinking and change their behaviour. Have a great day :)
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Thanks so much @marc5. I appreciate your words:)
I guess maybe my writing style may come across as harsh, but the truth is I'm just saying shit how it is;)
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Step three.
Instead of trying to change them, see if you can change yourself. Ask yourself if there’s something happening on a deeper level. Are you comparing because you’re afraid of commitment? Abandonment? Rejection? If you follow the thread down, you’ll see that it’s usually not about what you think it’s about.
They are already aware of what you don’t like about them. You have expressed it. If not verbally, in energy and attitude. So instead of putting all your energy into trying to change someone, put all that energy into being a better version of yourself. Ask yourself what you need to change about YOU, YOUR THINKING, HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD & RELATIONSHIPS, WHAT KIND OF EXPERIENCE YOU WANT, so that you can accept them for who they are.
Step three and a half.
Remind yourself of all the relationships that didn’t work and why.
https://medium.com/@angrytherapist/finding-the-perfect-partner-vs-finding-the-perfect-in-your-partner-cf953a09f07a
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