She didn't say that, but she basically said the same thing:
Summary: I was the wife who was seeing a marriage counselor with my husband. Both jointly and individually. Things were only getting worse and worse and it was only after a blow up fight that my husband and I compared notes and realized the counselor had been feeding each of us lies. [...] Counselor was telling me that my husband was emotionally 12 years old and would never be capable of a relationship (while reassuring my husband all was well with him). Meanwhile, he was telling my husband I had borderline personality disorder and needed medication. [...] When my husband started accusing me of being mentally ill, I brought this up to the counselor who then began making fun of my husband for saying such a thing ("Does he think he's a psychiatrist or something?" He actually laughed.) Counselor reassured me that I was a "beautiful and intelligent woman" and would do great once I left my husband. [...] The counselor (who was provided by the military through their family services) ended up being transferred a few weeks after we discovered this. We couldn't figure out if he got canned for abusing some other couple, if he retired, or some other shenanigan.
I feel that counselor wanted to lay some pipe on the wife of the story, but I love how the counselor had both fooled. I giggled at some of the comments:
This happened to my parents too. They found out what happened when my mom left her email open on the computer, and my dad saw what the counselor had been saying. [...] It turned out that he'd done this with MANY more couples. Many of them divorced after never realizing what happened.
Would you share your intimate secrets with strangers? Credentialed or not, I would feel very uncomfortable sharing my relationships with a counselor because they could always play games or cause more fights than solve them. I'm happy the couple worked out their differences, but it does make you wonder - how many couples have divorced or gotten worse over therapy when the therapist was lying the whole time? Let's hope it doesn't happen often!!!
Image h/t Pixabay
Me and my wife need no counselor for our problems.
I would sit down first with my wife and tell her that she will throw at me everything that bothers her. then I to her. And then we try to discuss the problem neutrally in order to work together on a problem solution. has always worked with me and my wife. Words are the fundament for building an good married couple.
Sry for my bad englsih. Hi from Germany 😊👍
Great post.
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The two of you sound very pragmatic. Very German of both of you ;).
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😅🍻
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I do think that instead of putting other people between the line of your communication, the couple should talk first and settle the arguments and misunderstanding. Somethings are really confidential. And it is not easy to trust strangers nowadays. Ouch! Such a pain in the head! A counselor to settle things yet the first one who create chaos!
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It's a shame fighting couples do not come back to discus outcome of sessions especially in the heat of misunderstandings. However I feel the solution is still dialogue between the couple. That's the only way one can truly get to understand each other if both parties are open. Marriage counseling help but it should be an add on. Not all problems need counselors as primary solution.
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