I guess there is no such thing as the perfect family. Mine is great in many many aspects, I was blessed with the almost perfect one :) Until I travel for long time or aim to move to another country on a far and remote continent like maybe New Zeeland :D Then my perfect family suddenly become a monster of worries and they like to behave like is the end of the world.
I just had a call with my sister to tell her a bit more about my journey. She cannot be happy for me and she told me how I am so wrong in everything I do. I do love her, but sometimes even for me is difficult to accept that I am not good enough. I was perfect when I did played the society rules, I had a job and eventually even better if I was looking for a husband. Then my mom and my sister they believed I was the greatest girl. The gypsy one, that is also me they don't particularly like. They are afraid that something will happen to me, even though 2 of my best friends died at home in their bed. It is ok for them to express their worries, but today my level of acceptance of my family non-acceptance was pretty low.
I would wish to live in a dream, where they like me no matter what. But maybe, because in rest I have a pretty damn good life, might be the reason I am here. To learn to say no and maintain my position. To wish secretly to be loved, but not to be able to express it. If I would had the right to choose at the begging of my life to be this one or another I would still go with this one. I would still fight for my right to travel and for their love :)
!
I dont think I am enlighten, but I believe I can bring light and smile to people faces if they want me to. Family will always be a place for emotional grow, one way or another. In my case things are getting much better than they use to be. It took us milliard tiny steps to be be here where we can express loud our disagreement instead of just closing the conversation and start to cry. It was and it will be forever a working progress. But, above all that it was and it will be forever love.
Hugs and lovely dreams,
😊😊😊☺
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Let your light so shine!
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