The person you look at in the mirror who is looking back at you may not be the person you think he or she is. Most of our self-awareness comes from our perceptions of how we think we appear to others. Just how accurate our thoughts about ourselves are, is usually dependent on our life circumstances and the people and events that have shaped our memories and our perceptions of the things that have happened in it.
Our self-talk tells us about ourselves and if we listen long enough to it, it will speak louder than family and friends who often affirm our strengths and abilities. Not all self-talk is bad. Sometimes it says things, which give us a premonition, and keeps us away from harm.
Others have achieved a sense of acceptance of who they are and where they fit into the world. For many people however, the public image they portray to others may not be a true reflection of their inner feelings. Self-talk convinces many people that there is nothing good in them or their lives. This creates tension and sadness that can manifest itself in destructive ways. It can affect relationships and health if not corrected.
How do people develop the negative feelings about themselves? Often they are the result of someone we love or trust saying or doing something that makes us feel bad about ourselves. Even though what we may initially know that what we are telling ourselves is not true, over time we begin to internalize and then believe it. It begins to affect the way we think and feel about ourselves and how we appear to others.
Escaping the negative feelings means learning to love the unique person we are. It means learning to allow others into our lives again without fear of a repeat of the hurt or rejection. We can do this alone by consciously rejecting the inner voice and countering it with a reminder of all the blessings and successes in our life or we can do it with the help of a trusted friend or counselor.
Finding the inner strength to face our negative thoughts about ourselves is the first step to discovering that we have hidden qualities and strengths we are often not aware of. It is a journey that no person will regret taking, once they embark on it.
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