The mistakes I've made in my 20s - Lessons I've learned in the third decade of my life

The 20s is always a handful for most of us, and without a doubt one of the most pivotal periods of our lives. Temptations, distractions, life changing decisions, relationships, opportunities abound and choices have to be made. Growing up in a society and a country that does not really value much of the uncommon, while commonality and mediocrity are looked upon as good virtues, it is not really hard to make mistakes; The ones that can have far reaching implications in life.

And of course, I've had my fair share of them. Looking back, I think I was a little more intelligent and matured enough in life to do things my own way and doing things that I really wanted to do. But nonetheless, there have been mistakes that I have made to, which given a chance, I would want to go back and correct.

I am sharing them here hoping that reading about my mistakes may help someone make better choices in their life and also not fall prey to what society aspires you to be, but work towards what you aspire to be. And of course, you can avoid making these mistakes and make other mistakes instead. That way, you can help someone else avoid making these mistakes as well as the mistakes you made. ;)

I am 27 by the way, so I am not fully past the mistake making stages of my 20s yet. But I am confident that the mistakes I make will not be the ones that will have far reaching implications on my life.

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Working for money and not for dreams

After studying Aerospace engineering, the conventional route dictated that I had to find a job with a reputed company. I knew quite well that a corporate job was not something that I would fit very well in because of my nature of being spontaneous, hands on and wanting to do things with passion and heart.

Corporate job dreams of being tied to a place, and having to work fixed timings did not appeal to me. But eventually I found myself there because I needed the money. After two years and not much learning, I realized that I had made a mistake choosing that direction for my career.

The valuable lesson I take from this experience is to not look for immediate compensation, but always towards the future. We all dream, and we have every right to fulfill that dream. It may not make sense right away, but a lot of good people and good friends have shown me that it will all add up to an amazing outcome in the end.

Chase the dream, do not settle.

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Thinking it was the right time to fall in love

I've been seeing most of my friends get married, some even having kids while I am still flying solo. I did have a couple of girlfriends in the past, and they all left. Each time, I realized that some left because we didn't work out, and others because we could not work out. And now I realize that it was all for the better, because I still have a lot of personal growth to do. I want to go out there, meet new people, see new places and push the limits.

But of course, if you have someone with whom you can do all the things you want to do, hold on to them, because the two of you are probably meant to be.

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Trying to make a lot of friends...

For some reason, I had this feeling that I wanted a lot of friends that I could hangout with, take dozens of photos and share them on facebook, get envied for living "an awesome life" (in the words of other peope). This inevitably led to people falling out left and right out of my life because I could no longer keep up with them, or wanting them to do something for me. And then, I just found it all hollow. What is the point of having friends if they are not around to talk to you, or do things with you? What is the point in just drinking with them, snapping a few photos and laughing about it. What is the point in waking up hungover the next morning?

And all of a sudden the "in crowd" attempt seemed futile, wasteful and narcissistic.

I've learnt to make connections based on trial and error. But more than anything, I have learnt that it is important to earn trust, not just make friends.

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Sticking with people that weighed me down

A bad job is just as worse as unhealthy relationships with people. I've had a long road to walk before learning to let go of people that sucked the soul out of me. And now, even though I've fewer people in life, it feels better.

Now, the only individuals that I aim to surround myself with are those that challenge myideas and motivate meto find the next solution to my problems. And the people who make time for me because they want to.

Investing in relationships with the wrong values

Being there for someone through their ups and downs, the bad and the good moments is one thing. Being their for someone through some of their worse times is another. It feels amazing to know that I am capable of such acts, and being able to energize someone I loved. It was a large part of self growth, I feel. But I failed to realize that the other person did not feel the same even though the signs were ever present.

Love is blind, it is said. I think it is fucking retarded.

It felt that no matter how much I would do for someone, there was going to be absolutely zero return on investment. Without positive returns, or the ability to make effort, I realized there was no point to invest my time, energy and effort into someone. When someone does not have the interest or capability to make time for me, I should not have to make time for them anymore.

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Not saving enough

The last two years of working a job, I realize that I have no savings that can correlate to my income! And every year I think that with an upcoming hike, I will earn more. But what about savings? Zilch! Zero!...

A few smart people in my life have shown me that it is not about earning more, but rather, it is about saving more. And it took me a little time to get to start saving, but I am glad those people helped me and now, I feel better knowing that I am saving away for the lean times.

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Not being grateful

This may be a point that not everyone would agree with. Over the course of my studies and life, I was fortunate to have met and worked with people who fortunately pointed me in the right direction. I had a good opportunity in life to be able to live well, live healthy, and learn a lot. At the key moments, I had the opportunity to choose the right direction and to go on in that direction.

Looking back, I would not have been where I am today if it wasn't for those people who went out of their way to help me. Now, I constantly look for opportunities to give back. Even if it is one person that I can help, I will be satisfied. And I do not feel that I have done it enough in the last few years.

Giving something back to society should be high on anyone's list in their 20s

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If you like my work, kindly upvote, comment and resteem/share to your friends. You may find other articles of mine via the links below which might interest you.

Volunteering in the Airbus Little Engineer Program - Teaching school students the importance of science and helping them program robots

Blockchain for dummies - A beginners guide to understanding the blockchain and its features

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Image sources: From my wallpaper collection download many, many years ago.