Hello dear Steemians,
How many of you found the perfect one (or just someone to date for now)? And how many are still looking?
A while ago, I had a chat with one of my male friends about dating and the difficulties we are facing to find a decent date.
Since I come from a conservative Muslim background, my experience with dating is still in its infantry as I only started dating around 2012. and...Oh boy! What a disaster I was. I totally have no idea how you people in the western world do it all the time... (Forgive my jealousy of successful daters :P)
But considering the large number of singles out there, and the availability of gazillion services of on-line dating. It is striking how many singles are not able to find partners!
Now the question I keep asking is, Why is it so hard to find a suitable partner (man or woman) among those available singles nowadays?
Is it possible its because of...
1- What I call "The Rotten Apple SHock syndrome" or "TRASH" for short
This is when the poor soul that signed up for the dating website and went through all the trouble of cross psychological examination with hopes to meet "THE ONE", ends up meeting "A TRASH".
I admit, I would reaaaaaally dislike meeting "A TRASH". But they are there, everywhere in the world an wherever they go, they ruin someone's life or reputation. They are very toxic. They love using people and stuff the wrongest way possible and destroy any trust or decency that would have otherwise been built naturally and nicely.
Now what do you think the poor souls do after meeting one "TRASH" after another on these websites?
Shivers...
Of course they become super paranoid and think of any new person they meet as “This person is TRASH until proven not” instead of “This person is good until proven TRASH”
Or could it be...
2- The f@cK-Ing Long List, "KILL" for short
When one of those pure "Disney" souls go to these websites with hearts full of hopes, singing love songs and having their heads sh$t-full of preconceived images of their Prince Charmin' and Snow White.
The disappointments, oh the disappointments...
When reality hits hard and their delusions gets crushed. What may have been a simple "KILL" before, becomes the real "KILL"er to their future of finding anyone or being found
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After being in a good relationship for 2 years (still good friends with my ex) it kind of changed the way I looked at dating as a whole.
The problem with dating sites is that it assumes 2 things:
1 - You actually know what you want in a relationship
If I saw my ex's profile on a dating site I don't think we would've clicked at all. Interest wise, we had pretty much nothing in common, and our backgrounds don't match. I was a short Asian guy dating a taller white girl, which should've been statistically improbable by OKCupid's standards. ;)
2 - You have to agree with your partner about everything for things to be healthy
I think that dating sites tend to emphasize the idea of "compatibility" as if it had something to do with agreement. My ex was kind of a hippie environmentalist while I was more interested in industry and technology, but in the end, it didn't really matter. I think it's actually kind of dangerous to date someone who's too similar to yourself because people do get territorial over what they feel like is their domain, sometimes. (Probably why I probably won't be dating a techie like myself any time soon.)
I still think the best way to meet people is to have some sort of hobby or activity you do on a regular basis (online or off), because what you really want to do is get to know someone over some amount of time to test for chemistry and trustworthyness. I don't think there's really any way to get that kind of thing from first impressions.
I just started to get back into the dating game now that my life has settled a bit from the crazy year I had so this post kind of caught my eye. Good luck!
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Dear @ryangtanaka,
Many thanks for your input. It is quite true from my own experience as well. I would love to use your input in my next dating post if you don't mind (I will credit you of course).
I hope to read more of your comments and valuable opinion in the future
Good luck with your future dating :D
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Sure go ahead -- if anything I write is helpful, it's all the better.
Good luck to us both!
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many thanks :)
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great advice
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Hahaha. Thanks for sharing your experience @szuri. Hope you got out of it without too much scarring though.
"TRASH" people are always there, waiting to get ya! LOL
Thanks again ;)
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Ha, i forgot what this post was after i watched the family guy clip.
But now, give it some time. You'll be alright :)
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Haha. Thanks for the comment and support.
I hope you liked it ;)
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Oh boy,
I've had my shares of the one turning out to be the trash, but yet again, I don't really think I was looking for "the one" on a dating app. To be honest, with dating apps, meeting more than once are explicitly off-the-table.
However, I really wasn't in the right state of mind and dating apps were fun at that time.
Turns out that they are vile 😁
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