Chester opened his lunchbox for the fourth time, but shut it quickly. "So, I was at the doctor's last Tuesday, and he tells me I've got a tapeworm in my gut somewhere, eating my lunch."

Hank groaned, and Chester looked at him sadly. "Can you imagine? So here's what he tells me, the doc. He says for me to go home, he does."

Chester shook his head, and then finally went on. "The doc, he tells me, that to get rid of this worm, that I need to cram a hard-boiled egg in my ass, and then I need to cram a lemon cookie in there. The doc says to do this every day for a week, and then come back and see him."

Hank had stopped nodding. "You put a hard boiled egg, then a lemon cookie, up your own ass, every day for a week? What kind of..."

Chester nodded solemnly. "I know. It didn't sound right to me either, but so anyways, I goes home and I follow the docs instructions, 'cause what the hell do I know? First a hard boiled egg, and then a lemon cookie, every day for a week. In the ass."

Hank made a little 'tsk' sound and stared at the floor as Chester continued.

"So I goes back to the doc yesterday, bein' one week later, and he asks me right away, did I cram the hard-boiled egg, and did I follow that with the lemon cookie. I tells him, hell yes but I'm still not feeling too hot. So the doc, he tells me, 'drop your pants.' Seeing how he's a doctor and all, I did, and he has me laying on that stainless-steel workbench, and he picks up a little silver hammer from out of a drawer."

Hank just blinked as Chester paused, but then went on. "Then the doc, he takes a hard-boiled egg, and jams it inside of me... it weren't nice how he did it, but maybe his chicken lays bigger eggs than mine. Anyways, he's sitting there in his doctor coat with the doctor hammer in his hand there, and he just sits there."

Chester fidgeted for a second, then he sighed. "So after the doc jams a hard-boiled egg up my ass, he just sits there with that little hammer, and all of a sudden that tapeworm pops his head out of me, and looks around at us both, it does, and this tapeworm it yells "HEY! WHERE'S MY GODDAMN LEMON COOKIE?" Instead of answering, the doc hits the little bastard with the silver hammer, bam. No more tapeworm."

---

adapted from a joke I heard once-- I always remember the good ones. Photo thanks to Pixabay. Happy Saturday Night

click @therealpaul for more