Let's Begin - The Early Years

This being my first post, Im not sure the attention I will receive. Not that I mind either way. Trying to figure out what I should blog about, I remember my life is full of drama. So should we go from the beginning? Alright.

As stated in my profile, I am 24 years old. So much has happened in my not yet a quarter century old life.

I have turned bitter and cold towards most, and I apologize, but this is what my life has become. I used to be happy, then again, I used to be a child. I was a single sibling until I was five years old. I was Princess until then. Nothing dramatic, I just didn't like having twin brothers. They stole my thunder!

Around me being nine years old is where life starts to go downhill. I was sleeping in the living room on a blanket on the floor in midsummer, my mom and then stepdad were on both the couches surrounding me. So tell me why a 45 year old man (family "friend") thought he could get away with what he tried? He had laid down next to me and had only gotten as far as flipping the edges of my underwear and cuddling with me before my then stepdad woke up and chased him to the bathroom. That man had no pants and no underwear on. All I remember about that night was the image of his johnson swinging as he cowered to the bathroom.

A little while later (months or so went by) I went to my friend's house. They lived across the field. We lived out in the country somewhere in Wisconsin about an hour away from the Minnesota border. (Sidenote: totally ended up seeing one of the neighbors in middle school once we moved to trailer park - talked about below- once we moved to Minnesota)

The kids were my age and they had an older brother. Now I didn't realize it at the time but I really wish I had, but their brother was just... He was a f**king psycho. We were all playing truth or dare and the brother pops in and dares the other two to have sex. The. Siblings. This only makes me worry to this day about what else happened over there. That was the only time I ever went into the house. I spent the rest of my friendship with them in the barn.

Fast forward about three years, that man that had been laying next to me is not in jail because he didn't actually touch me nor molest me. We lived in a trailer park at this time. One morning while walking to school, who do I see in Lot 1 getting his STEPDAUGHTER ready for school? That man. He had married and she had a daughter that was a year older than me. I was terrified. Eventually I ended up throwing a tv at his face. I became friends with his stepdaughter. I tried asking her about if she knew what he did to me. She did. (He must have at least been put on the SO registry) I also asked her if her mom knew about it. She did. Yet they did nothing to help me.

But alas. Since we're back in the trailer park, let's talk about the good times I had there. This is the best place I have ever lived other than when I was in high school. More on that later.

There is where I met my then best friend, we'll call her Kendra. She lived two houses down and we met because I asked her for a pool filter. She became a part of our family from that day forward. She was about 16 when I met her at 12. Her dad wasn't the greatest person in the world so she was happy to have somewhere to go that wasn't full of drama or alcoholism.

Kendra was at our house almost every day whether for babysitting or just trying to get a minute away from her dad. She's a good person, has a kid now too. He's I think six or seven years old now. Maybe older, I've lost contact with her.

We also had, in the other direction, our neighbors that were pretty cool. They were two boys a few years older than myself, and of course taught my brothers all about boy-dom. Gag. But I trolloped around with the boys like any tomboy.

We had a trampoline, pool, and all the neighborhood kids wanted to hang out with us. Those were the best childhood days I had. I miss that trailer park.

I no longer talk to anyone from there. We are all grown up and half of them... I just don't even remember their names. All I know is that was the first time I had friends. Real friends.

Next up: early teens to whatever comes out? I suppose? Like I said, first post. I've often wanted to sit down and take the time to write out my complete history. I could make a book. This is just a condensed version because typing on a phone doesn't do it justice.

Love and Light
Rae