As I stood by the roadside yesterday waiting for that particular royal blue Toyota Avalon to be driven by, I found myself consciously thinking about my first 30 days on the steemit community. I then went further back in time, exploring memory archives dated as far back as the year 2005. At the end of my journey down memory lane, I decided to share a bit of my history and some lessons learnt with you guys.
There are factors which contribute to the development, upbringing and shaping of an individual right from childhood: parents, siblings, school, religious community, friends, the society at large; and these days, the social media.
On a very first note, I love my parents so dearly. As far back as the late1990's, I stayed with my parents, and my siblings.
My parents never allowed us to go visit or mingle with our neighbours' kids or other kids on the same street, we were never allowed to go to their houses. They must've definitely had their reasons for such, and I alone"totally" respected that decision and obeyed. The others were nonchalant. But what I realized was that with the good intention of making sure we were not exposed to bad influence, we also missed out on the good influence.
Few years down the line I found myself being an extreme introvert, having a lot on the inside to say but not being to share them with anyone, extremely reserved, almost always keeping to myself. Even when I'm being talked to, I was usually smart enough to know how to end the conversation quickly. I got the message from my parents but then innocently amplified it.
I kept observing nature and everyone around me, without drawing out inferences with my mouth. My mind kept doing the wandering... It remained this way throughout my secondary (high) school days. My self-esteem was low, IQ:well above average, Emotional Intelligence :well below average.
I got admitted into the university the same year I wrote the secondary school final exam, so my secondary school experience got admitted into the university with me. But there I was then,thinking I would at least mix with people in the hostels. That wasn't the case!
I had an uncle - of blessed memory - who had a 5-bedroom bungalow in an estate, but stayed in Lagos. He seldom came around so I was practically in charge of the house. My story maintained its course for the first three years on campus.
Things got better in the fourth year when I was on a 6-month industrial training program at the University College Hospital (UCH) Ibadan (Cardiology unit, and as a Physician's assistant). I had to talk and communicate with my colleagues and superiors. I also had to effectively communicate with patients as well. What helped me was the fact that I wanted a change and I was deliberate about it.
if a particular situation in your life seems unbearable, the change starts with you deliberately wanting a change. That point at which what you say with your mouth agree what your heart says.
The last year in the university was way better than the previous years, but there were still elements of being reluctant to relate, mingle and connect with people, such that I mostly made calls only when I have an appointment with someone or the person demands that I call him/her.
My attitude towards relationships with people cost me an extra year in school with no carried-over courses to be redo. (story for some other time)
The period of the extra year was the year during which I started relating with people better.
Everything got even much better during my National Youth Service year, as I voluntarily decided to live in a family house (NCCF) where I really wouldn't have a choice but to relate with hose around me. After my service year, life became more interesting as I lived a quite dreary and mind-numbing life then.
Then Steemit was introduced to me by @phait and @abeem90, something I'm pretty sure couldn't have happened 5 years back because I wouldn't even have bothered saying "hello" at all. It's been 30 days so far on this community and it's been an awesome experience. The oneness, unity, the mutual support, series of initiatives, creative displays here and there...
And then, the blue Toyota Avalon halted in front of me just as a pretty heavy downpour was about to begin.
What's the point here?
No man is an island of His Own. No matter how smart, talented or intelligent you are, you still need people around you, people with whom you relate
If there be a situation or condition in your life that you're not okay with, and you want a change. The turn around starts in your mind, with you wanting a change and being deliberate about the steps to be taken
*As you relate with people at your place of work, be it your clients, your friends, do well not to just expect to gain something from the relationship but to also add value to the relationship (doesn't have to monetary)
Finally, I've come to realize even more that steemit is a online community which encourages unity and oneness. I'm a newbie and I'm enjoying myself. If you're like the version of me, 10 years ago, the steemit community is an opportunity for you to come out of that box and enjoy life irrespective of whatever insecurities you might have. Thank God for @surpassinggoogle and the #untalented-singsong and #steemgigs where there's room for for flaws. Might be easier said than done, but remember you just have to really want that change. It's yours if you want it.
There's quite a lot of things I enjoy today because I relate with people better and much more deliberately.
Your next breakthrough might be in the hands on that person you'll give a warm reception
Keep steeming!!!