When Someone You Love Doesn't Want To Help Themselves

We are all on our own journey, all of us on different paths, as we experience what life has to offer. We meet people along the way, some who just come into our lives for a short period and others who will stick around for the long haul.

As we grow, some people grow with us, whilst others find it more difficult, for various reasons.

I have a very close friend, whom I care about dearly. She is an amazing person and friend. I really enjoy her company, most of the time. Unfortunately she has a problem with alcohol. It really changes her behaviour and she goes from someone who is usually very attentive, to someone who just forgets what it means to listen to others.

She also gets super emotional and puts herself down a lot, whenever she drinks.This happens at the end of the day and I find it really difficult to see her like this. The following day, she sometimes has no recollection of what happened and this scares me to be honest.

I have tried to talk to her about it, but she sees alcohol as something that helps her come out of her shell and if she isn't drinking she thinks she is boring. Which is so far from the truth.

I feel, that what it really boils down to, is her lack of self confidence. I don't really drink that often and if I do, I might have one or two beers, but that's it.

I just don't really enjoy the way it makes me feel, especially the next day. And right now my focus is on staying strong and healthy.

When beer was first brewed, it was for medicinal reasons, but we have moved far away from that now. I have thought about, trying my hand at making medicinal beers, another little project that awaits, once I move onto land that I know I will be staying on.

It's not easy seeing someone you care about, hurt themselves in such a way. I also know, that unless she really wants to do something about it, then nothing is going to change.

There have been times, where she has stopped for a few weeks at a time, but she always returns to alcohol. I guess, it is like a prop for her. I know she has also lost friends in the past, because of her drinking.

Like I said, I have spoken to her a few times already. At the end of the day, honesty is so important. I have tried to explore different ways, that would help to boost her confidence, but there is usually a reason/excuse why each suggestion, I make is not taken on.

I get it, it's her journey not mine and perhaps there is still some lesson she needs to learn.

I really don't know how far I should go with this. Should I just accept her for who she is and watch her continue to drink or do I begin to use a few lessons in tough love.

I really don't like telling people what to do, we have spend way too much time, being dictated to. At the end of the day, we all have to be allowed to make our own decisions. But when they are so self destructive, should we really just sit back?

I have tried, I just don't know if I should keep trying. I write so much about how important it is to accept people for who they are, that it is not our job to change anyone.

So I feel stuck, I don't want to end up pushing her away, because I keep talking about it, but I also don't want her to end up harming herself or anyone else. She has been known to drive, when she has been intoxicated.

This is also something I have spoken to her about. Because then she is putting other people in danger.

I writing this in the hope, that maybe someone can offer me some advice and also because when I write I some times come with solutions myself. But this is someone else's journey and it is up to them, to find the solution when they are ready, no?