FOREVER

As I grew up to understand, 'Forever' is a word denoting timelessness, infinity, eternity (or at least a huge part of its meaning is).

For me, because of the essence it gave to some significantly emotional speeches, the word in itself was a complete sentence, also due to the role it played in the completion and affirmation of such expressions.

For example, when a couple, in their 'moment', said to each other "I will love you forever", many times, after the word 'Forever' had been mentioned, any accompanying sentence could not be of more importance than the fore spoken to the significant other, except it ended again with the magic word.

Additionally, it was an introduction to a proposal for trust, a virtual emblem of good intentions, an appeal for confidence, and an undisputable promise of sacrifice and responsibility.

For instance, a phrase like "I will forever stand by you", spoken rightly, to the right person, under the right circumstance, could convince a duo to embark on an unending movement to move the Kilimanjaro mountain.

Little wonder why to me, the word 'Forever' was a vocabular miracle, it could (attempt to, and sometimes) fix where broken, generate hope for light in a dark situation, and shut doors where backs needed to be turned permanently.

Well, now Forever seems like such a short time to me (everything is complicated when we grow up).

I don't know if anyone else sees this but Forever seems to be going down the retrogression time ladder, from infinity to decades, years, a few years, all the way down to hours and minutes.

What changed?
Did nature decide to 'happen' and twist our minds in plain sight?
Has our reality been compromised?
Are people just becoming too deceitful?
What changed?

Nothing. I think we all just evolved, always did from the beginning, always will, as we're meant to. A change too scary if you ask me.

Today, when a couple say to each other "I will love you forever", five to ten years later (or less), they're worlds apart, can't even sit across from each other at the same table, or sometimes, retire to being 'just friends', with hearts splitted in many unfixable parts.

Today, a boy looks at his innocently vulnerable baby sister, and assures her, "I'll be here to protect you forever", yet that assurance becomes a toast to her woes as a week later, he's reported dead, gone 'forever'. That was not the promise. But who's to blame?

Nobody.

As adults, many of us care less about the devils in the detail as long as it means having to deal with what's feeding on our hard garnered energy, our tough forged personality, our cast-in-concrete ego. We'd rather be depressed than fix a broken relationship. We're made to erect iron defences for imaginary attacks (or not so imaginary after all), and doubt even the tears on seemingly innocent faces, because we fight our own battles and are weak from exerting our own negative energy. That's fine, no one's judging.

But guess what?

When they promised you Forever, they did keep their word. It all depends on how much time their Forever was made of, or they were capable of making it last. They loved you until they didn't, that was their Forever. And no, he didn't just choose to frustrate you by dying, he kept his word until he expired, they believed in you until they didn't, it was all real until it wasn't, etc.

My thought at this point is, Forever is what it has always been. Time. Its application however, is subjective. How much time do you want your Forever to be made of? How much time in your Forever are you willing to sacrifice for someone or something? Your answer is yours.

I don't make promises, because I don't break them. I don't have expectations of people, but I expect that they have expectations of me. I decide on the people and things I sacrifice my essence for, because I want to be okay if they choose not to do the same for me, I love them but I don't wait around for them to love me back, and if they eventually don't, I love me enough.

I can't really say what kind of person that makes me, but it's my proactive measure to maintaining my peace (well, it's lonely a few times, but that's all part of the drill). This is not to say that we should live independent of people, because in truth, that doesn't really happen. We breathe in air from the same planet space so that means somehow we're all in this together..

I prefer more simplicity and specificity though, like instead of telling me you'll be there to support my dreams forever, I'd rather we took it one project at a time, so you can tell me that if life persists, you'll be with me till I've crossed the finish line with this one, then if you still can or will, we pick another, and start over.

So if you come to me with a "hey Wakky, I think we're gonna be great friends forever", and you're confused the many expressions my face can spring up at once, please choose my smile, it's always less rebellious 😂.

Hope you can forgive my prolonged absence.. Merry Christmas!!
#withsteemfromwakky