Or, Maybe, it was me interpreting it as a shout after the decades of listening to that one somehow promising, definitely intimidating single little word. I was raised learning that God has a still and quiet voice.
So what on Earth about my life could warrant even considering that putting it down in writing might find even one interested reader, God? What good would it do anyone, besides the therapy it may or may not provide me? HOW could I put down so many private and very embarrassing, even despicable things for the World to see and lay my dirty rotten self right out there on the line like that?
Never a response. Just that same simple, scary word.
Right now. On the verge of fifty. 4-month, very torn up, yet deserved, divorce'. We both tore at each other till there was just nothing left for us to hang on to. No driver's license since 2008 due to DUI's. Had to leave the house we tried to make into a home right on about a year ago to go back to the job I had when we were married, back on July 16, 2011. Seems like "Little Mexico" in that place, you can seriously feel the racism on the floor and the apathy from the top down, there. That's ok though, I don't really take crap from anyone anymore, and there are some good decent sorts there also. House hopping since I got re-hired and landed back with the folks, again, finally for the second time since I had to leave the only "real" property I have ever, actually owned behind, as well. Trying to sell said house, and kinda optimistic actually, due to a promising call from the blue about showing it this coming Monday, not even on the market yet, prospect looked me up. Waiting on a response to my resident application to a trailer court that is conveniently located for my situation.
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This is the first attempt, and frankly may be the last post about this whole "What am I supposed to do with my life" sort of, I guess, blog. So, you are warned, you are reading a very reluctant writer, here.
Ok that's it for now. Possibly more to follow.