I’m 28 and I just broke up with my 14th girlfriend. Here’s what I learned.

On the quest for an intelligent female partner? Here are some red flags to watch out for, from personal experience.

Several days ago I broke up with my 14th girlfriend. While dating someone new every six months (on average) while in a demographically handicapped country, looks good in front of your bros it does remind you it’s high time to draw the line and summarize some do’s and dont’s about women.

So, I am practically writing this article as a note to myself. And I am talking to my future self. Unless I'm talking to you. Kind of thing.

Ladies, you might have some fun reading this as well. In the process of writing I realized that a lot of things apply to men as well. Guess stupidity is mostly gender-indifferent.

Some context before we begin:

Basically I am looking for a balanced person that can understand me, be supportive of my goals as much as she is of her own, be doing something with her life and not acting as if she left a mental institution the day before we met. I’m not asking for perfection, just a balanced and developed personality.

The Looks

First off, the looks. An intelligent woman won’t find purpose in spending 60 minutes in front of the mirror, 2 or more hours per week with her stylist (she likely can do it all by herself), more than 5 hours per week at the gym, etc.

Why?

Because working on your looks for too long leaves you with no time to work on your personality (the brain included).

An intelligent person knows how to look good and stylish without overspending time on her looks. She won’t need to have nail extenders, hair extenders, eyelash extenders in order to look good.

With intelligence, simplicity and minimalism come into play.

Same goes for the clothing. If she is beyond gold-digger IQ, she will most likely (again) prefer simplistic design on the clothes, without too many flashy things, stamps, glass diamonds, 3d prints and so on. Stylish, yet practical. As an example think of some tight blue jeans coupled with a black turtleneck and diligently tied hair in a pony tail. The shoes? Maybe Armani, but definitely comfortable enough for walking. No sky-high high-heels.

In terms of nudity, even when the weather is hot, she won’t have the need to search for approval on her body. Yes, we all have insecurities but spreading your boobs out through a tank top along an inch-high pants or mini-mini skirt is just pathetic.

A quote I got from one of you wonderful, smart ladies is by Joko Rosich. I had to translate it, but it goes something like this:

“… The sense of a woman is everywhere. It’s not in the defiant nudity. This is for men without imagination.”

I’m not some fashion designer, just talking from experience and observation.

Body

As for the body. I remember a friend of mine bragging about some dude. It went like this: “This guy’s crazy smart, man. Might be sitting at home all the time, reading and being 120 kilos, but he’s real smart.”

Well, if he is that smart he should’ve noticed and found a way to manage his own body mass. You can’t tell me that you are smart enough to solve quantum equations while not being able to manage your own body weight. “Smart” people should have at least read that high body fat is linked to decrease in intelligence. This brain needs blood and oxygen, not only burgers!

Pardon the rant. Guess if you are reading this, you probably can understand my frustration.

Simply put, even if a smart lady doesn’t vigorously work out (which is proven to slower down aging by the way) she will somehow figure out how to manage her weight in a healthy way. If the woman you are dating is on a strict diet of coffee, cigarettes and apples you are better off alone. Just try to consider the actual health complications – mood swings, serious deviations in the vaginal flora (as in serious for you), candidiasis, depression, lack of sexual drive… I’m telling you, you’re gonna love it being with her. And, yes, that is sarcasm.

And last but not least, the posture.

The general rule of thumb is that the anatomically-correct form of the spinal cord is a J.

Low IQ does not allow awareness of posture. Lowest IQ does not allow proper motor functions. Take retards for instance. So, if your chick is standing like a praying mantis it might be the tip of an iceberg you’ll hate her for.

As always, it’s up to you, but I’d say – proceed with caution. There was this girl that had some issues with her spinal cord (going a little bit of an S at the top), because her boobs had grown earlier and she has been trying to hide them as a kid. If you have any memories of the 5th grade, you would probably understand.

To summarize:
*Hunchback = IQ trouble
*Hunchback and shoulders dropped down and/or to the front = depression with/or low self esteem (dodgie!)
*Don’t be quick to judge

Behavior

Of course, with higher IQ come things such as “paralysis by analysis” and other personality trips but it’s much better than having a judgmental cromagnon look, staring at you, making you realize that this person could have sent you to the stake, if you had met several centuries earlier.

And that’s stupidity. Stupid people are afraid of things they don’t understand (guess that goes for most things). And fear has many masks. It could be hate, denial or the common case where it’s masked as practicality. But that is a whole topic on its own.

An intelligent person is curious. If she doesn’t understand why you think “that is that”, she will at least try to find out more about it and see if she can accept it. I’m saying ‘she’ but again, it’s universal.

Everyday Life

As you get to know that woman you will begin to get a glance of her private and everyday life. Her home is like her body. If she can’t find time to keep it clean (i’m talking hygiene here, not order), she is most likely bad at managing it like her body. And a person who can’t take care of themselves, cannot take care of the people around them as well. This makes them a liability. And that’s a red flag.

Contradictions

Another thing I’ve noticed are contradictions. Yes, look out for contradictory actions. For example, she won’t allow you to sleep without a t-shirt in her bed, but she washes her dog once every 3 months (so she says) and keeps it in the living room.

Why contradictions are for stupid people? It’s because intelligent people do things systematically. If I keep everything away from the floor, I won’t be leaving the cable of my oven lying on the floor as well. I cook with clean hands, so why make them dirty by picking it up every time, right?

Stupid people, on the other hand, don’t do things systematically. They do things out of instinct and false belief, because they never actually spend time to research anything. They are forced to come up with things, whether it makes sense or not. So, here’s another red flag for you.

Make sure you date women who can talk the talk and do the walk. Or even better, focus more on walking, rather than talking. I learned that many people spend time talking about their self-perception and their goals and never really doing anything about it. People who are actually doing something with their life might even prefer to talk about things only in the past tense.

Her Entourage (friends, etc)

Let’s start with you, dear reader.
Here’s a quote for you:

“Spending time with the wrong people leaves you with no time to find the right ones.”

If you have applied something like this to your social life, then you are most likely surrounded by people that at least remotely are like yourself. Yes, that’s right. We are natural ego-maniacs and enjoy spending time with our own selves. Some variations included.

Same goes for her. So, if you don’t like her friends. See her enjoying her time with someone you find offensively retarded, then you have a huge red flag.

Also (and this applies for all people of quality) she has to spend at least some time on her own. Comfortably. I am stating it as a requirement because I’ve noticed that people who spend too much time in other’s company are running away from themselves. And even if that focus shifts, it will drop on you like a cannon ball, resulting in a chick that is addicted to you. If this happens, prepare to be chocked by a red flag, because you will have no free space in your life.

Another beautiful red flag is if she has no long-lasting friendships. No matter how much of a freak we might be, we all have at least this one buddy we go way back. The inability to maintain a relationship is bad for your own, but also shows she is most likely equally stupid and selfish.

And selfishness, like stupidity, cannot by fixed. From the outside, at least. Leave. ASAP.

Facial Expression

As you can see I do make a lot of reading on the body language. After all it does reflect what’s on the inside.
When you are talking to someone and she is actually processing your words there is at least a super slight emotional response that comes back to you in the form of some glare or ‘spark’ when you look into her eyes.

If she is low-IQ there won’t be any processing behind the scenes. Hence, no emotional response and no active reaction to what you are saying.

Nodding, smiling, looking up, looking aside, frowning… all in their own variation, are signs of emotional response to the conversation.

Intelligent people are involved in the conversation, they don’t look as if they are listening to the radio.

I know I’m walking on thin-ice here, with some bold generalizations of women, but it is a point to consider at least.

Having a blank-look or lacking the emotional response to your story is definitely a red flag. Even if you question things and ask her for her motives, she will justify it with something like ‘well, I’m just not that emotional’ or even put the spotlight back on you: ‘you talk a lot. like a girl. please don’t be offended, but it’s true!’

Sadly, when she’s got no brain, only jokes or ‘i’m not being alone anymore’ ego trip will make you smile. If she can’t appreciate the small things, you’ve got a problem.

Attention to Detail

Somewhere someone said that excellence is not an achievement, but a constant act. You know what separates the amateur from the professional? The attention to detail. There are many people doing what they do, but only few deliver a fully polished product or service in the end. “If you are not going to do it right then don’t do it at all.” is another saying, although quite maximalist.

And just like that, it applies to all of life. You can be thorough and thoughtful in the conversations you are having or you can constantly rely on small talk to ‘keep company’. Guess which one applies to who.

In terms of communication I noticed that a low-IQ person won’t see any point in being polite when asking you something. The subtle difference between “Would you give me the pen?” and “Give me the pen.” would be invisible.

Being polite is all “mating rituals” for such a person. Once you are close enough, all the ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ that made her look kind and feminine disappear. I wonder how I haven’t been told to ‘fetch!’ already.

Then the tone goes back to redneck default and things begin to look neolithic.

On the Balkans (Eastern Europe) it’s common sense not to get too involved in being courteous. Frowning is just widely accepted for some reason. People don’t smile to each other for the sake of it and we are just beginning to experience a revolution in kindness and selflessness.

So, in my case I am going to assume that having a female Nazi soldier barking orders at me is a demographic thing. But low-IQ, nonetheless.

Conversations don’t get real as well. I’ve discussed this with people of similar capacity, so to speak, and it turns out that no one is interested in hearing old stories and jokes for as long as they have a partner. A real conversation – about life, hardships, discoveries, spirituality, aliens, sex, magick or whatever.

A one-on-one conversation is like sex – it must be at least somewhat intimate for you to really enjoy it.

But these topics are all ‘nonsense’ and ‘pointless’ to someone who cannot appreciate the small things in life. And, you know, it really is hard to do so when you cannot stretch a muscle in your head about it.

Here is a beautiful example of such mindset:

“I really don’t understand you. I’ve always thought that you are smart enough to notice things. You should know that I also see and know a lot of things, but I don’t talk about them because they don’t have importance to me, our friendship or at all.”

Whoa, talking about being pointless, right? Please note that someone you can qualify as stupid also have their ego high enough to start lecturing you like this: I’ve always thought that you are smart enough to do this and that. As if just when your puny, little self was about to reach the magnitude of greatness, you failed.

Not enjoying the small things in life also correlates with attention to detail. A beautiful sunset with the rays, illuminating the clouds. The sea in an endless reach throughout the horizon...

But this is how it was explained by one of my dates:

“I know you look at the sunset or the moon and you are “hey, awesome”. But I’m not like this. I just look at it and that’s it. No big deal.”

That same person ‘thought’ it would be a good joke to use the ‘steam hammer’ function of the iron (the thing you iron clothes with) about 30 cm away from my right ear. It took me about 2 years to get my hearing back to normal after this ‘accident’. You can’t imagine the surprise on her face when she realized it’s not funny and I don’t enjoy it. Lunatic you’d say? No. Just plain stupid.

As a side note, stupid people are not only judgemental because they can’t understand you. They are also bad for your health.

The Lack of Abstract Thought

For the sake of clarity, by “abstract” I am referring to the remote and loose connection between two things, in the most general meaning.

It’s funny how you can go and ask someone - “Hey, what do you think of when I say ‘black spot’?”
Some related terms would be ‘black hole’ or a ‘black patch on a cow’.

But how about them answering: “Well, what am I supposed to think of?!”

Doesn’t that just fill you with joy and excitement that you have picked up a conversation with someone? Yeah… sarcasm.

The more intelligent a person is, the more abstract they can think. Please don’t quote me on this, as there are different types of intelligence. But this will do for the purpose of this article.

Maybe it’s that lack of abstraction in their heads that makes it for such a dull experience when talking to them. Maybe when we look at the sun we see exploding novas or the most amazing energy source in our solar system (for a lack of another one).

But it is the same reason those people lack sense of humor. Cannot perceive the irony of a situation, even when pointed out.

Here is a joke I told to a girl I was dating just recently.

Some context first: in my country there are a lot of gypsies. Back in the days they did a lot of traveling across our cities with a horse-driven wagon. So, commonly of Saturdays, they would go around town and shout “I am buying old washing machines, ovens and water heaters!!” (for scrap metal).

Naturally, many of us growing here clearly remember what it feels like to be waken up by some guy shouting below your window in 8:30 AM on a Saturday.

And here is the joke:

Father to his kid:
“What sound does the doggy make?”
– Woof!
“What sound does the piggy make?”
– Oink!
“What sound does the horsey make?”
– I’m buying old washing machines, ovens, water heaters!!

If you think it’s funny, know it’s funnier in my native language.

And guess what she said? “I don’t see what’s funny, sorry, I’m stupid.” I hint to what I explained to you and she goes: “Oh.” Still no laughter.

Moral of the story: If they can’t connect the dots on their own, they can’t connect with you as well.

Conclusion

There’s just so much to conclude from this note and all the unwritten experience and observations. A conclusion would really mean another 3000 words.

I think that in a world of deceit and a society built on illusions it takes true intelligence to notice important things and see through all the smoke and mirrors.

From now on I will do my best to take note of everything I wrote on this page and persevere until I meet kinder, happier people who are capable of seeing the bigger picture in life and pursuing their own goals and personal development.

For now, that should do it.

p.s. It’s so hard to write about multi-dimensional topics such as the declining IQ on Earth and love life. But hey, it's a 'social' website, so feel free to judge me in the comments section.

Image credit: a zillion dollars comics