My life.

Hello people! Welcome to my blog. This is just a little bit of an incite into the complete emotional roller coaster that is my life at the minute!

Where to start?! Firstly, I'm a very proud fur baby Mum! One crazy English spaniel and one rather large horse!

Now to the emotional bit.... just over a year ago now my dad was diagnosed with cancer. At the same time my nan got rushed into hospital and it was uncertain wether she'd leave again! A hard time that's for sure! Luckily my Nan managed to escape just over a month later! Unfortunately things just went from bad to worse with my dad.

My dad first had surgery in Leicester where they tried to remove as much of the cancer as possible. They ended up removing quite a lot of lymph nodes but were happy they'd got it. He recovered from his operation and then had another scan where it was discovered that the cancer had spread to his lungs.

Because the cancer is so rare and very fast spreading my dad had a trial chemotherapy at st.james hospital in Leeds (first hospital I've ever come across that has a pianist in the lobby).

The chemo made him very sick, he was rushed into hospital after the first! He kept at it tho. Eventually they had to stop it as it was just to toxic for him. He had another scan and this showed that the chemo had shrunk some of the tumours in his lungs but the cancer had spread again and he had a large mass on his spleen.

It was decided that there was nothing more to be done. It took a lot of getting our heads around! Especially as he was so healthy looking on the outside.

A few weeks after that news he got an urgent phone call from Leeds telling him he needed to be admitted immediately. Easier said than done when we live in Lincoln! It was decided he would go to Lincoln county instead. Apparently the calcium levels in his blood were dangerously high. He ended up being in for about two weeks and seemed a lot better!

Two weeks later he had to go back in because again his calcium levels were dangerously high. This time he was in for a month.

Same thing again, nothing worked. Apparently he's one of only 3% that just don't respond to any of the treatments. They eventually let him home and said he has to go to the medical day unit for an infusion every two weeks. This soon changed to every week tho!

Because of the cancer and the calcium my dad hasn't eaten or properly drank for weeks now. It's one of the hardest things seeing your big strong dad get skinnier and weaker in front of you.

They recently put my dad on a syringe driver with steroids and anti sickness. The district nurses were coming every day to change it. We also have the hospice care at home team visit twice a week. They've been brilliant getting us equipment and helping us as much as possible.

This Monday just gone my dad couldn't get up. He'd already got to the point that he had to move downstairs full time but was managing to get to the toilet and to sit on the sofa. But on Monday he couldn't get up at all so we had to get an ambulance for him.

Since being in hospital he has gone downhill quite dramatically. He hasn't had his infusion tho so it could be that. He now has to have oxygen and is being sick a lot. They've had him on a drip since he got in but he's struggling to drink himself now. I don't know what will happen now. And I can't really let myself think about it.

Anyway, before I completely bore you all I will call it a day! Thank you for reading! I want all the men who are reading this to use it as a lesson, always check yourselves and if there's anything at all your worried about please don't hesitate to get checked! The earlier cancer is caught the better! If this helps even just one person not go through what my dad is I'll be happy.

Love Fiona xxx