You may inspire or even motivate someone to change but the desire to change, the willingness of going through the crucial process of letting go of habits, recognizing that change must occur is NOT something you can do for someone else.
So many of us try to change the people around us. Sometimes it’s by enforcement and other times it’s through our frustration that we make a compelling argument that they must change. But does this approach ever make them change?
People need to be convinced to do things because let’s face it- we want to do things that either have a motive or reward. Sometimes, even if the motive or reward is present people are afraid to change themselves because they fear of what awaits on the other side of change. Habits are formed, personality traits are embedded, and you come into acceptance of who you are so change becomes far-fetched.
But I think the most frustrated people in this change equation are the ones trying to convince a person to change. It’s these people who care the most and feel the most because they genuinely believe that change will lead to something good. During teenage years, our parents tell us to change certain habits about us and then as you grow older it’s always the significant people in your life that suggest change in some aspect of your life- the aspects they are most familiar with. Yet, must of us tug on to the very things that disable us to grow and progress.
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that you can never change a person. An individual may change themselves but no one can do it for them. Yes, you can inspire and motivate, be an example of change, etc. But the drive to change comes from within. You must be able to recognize that change is needed and is a fundamental part of life- at least a happy and progressive one.
Accepting that you cannot change people makes your life so much easier because you’re no longer working towards a lost cause. Coming into acceptance that people make changes in their life when they are ready and not when you want them to makes things less complicated. That’s why, you should never stress about why people you hold close do not embrace change. They are clearly on the losing end and at the end of the day, you have a life to live- one in which you welcome change with open arms and are able to move on knowing that some people choose otherwise.