Time For the Morons on the Roads of Houston to WAKE UP!!

Attention, Attention, Attention...BREAKING NEWS...YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON THE ROAD.

I know, those other things in cars and trucks aren't your family, they aren't your super close "Facebook Friends" and they certainly aren't anyone that you would attempt to recognize as living beings. It is terrifying just how many drivers out there act as though they are the only ones on the road. Doubt me? Well, let's take a look. I personally cannot think of a better time in the world to check my Facebook profile, send out that all important tweet or text my bestie then in the middle of quitting time traffic while travelling at 70 miles per hour six feet off the bumper of another car.

It's a difficult situation to be in, right? I mean what do we expect you to do with that expensive electronic device in your hand? It's not like it s capable of making a call or something, that kind of technology is only in sci-fi movies! Why the hell would we expect you to talk to someone when we all know that there is nothing better then typing? That's why typewriters are still all the rage!

See my point? Too many people act as though they are bullet proof and that they can do anything and everything other then pay attention to what is going on around them as they drive. I have driven the highways of countless cities around the world and the U.S. has been the worst about this. Sadly, though I started this off about texting, tweeting and Facebooking while driving, that is not what has me irritated and writing. There is a growing trend, at least in Houston, Texas, that is really a problem. Everyone seems to think that they are driving emergency vehicles!

NEWS FLASH DUMBASS!!! Unless you are on duty as a police officer, fireman, paramedic, EMT or some other certified and employed public service person that is authorized to operate a vehicle Code 3, that means lights and sirens going while rushing to a defined area that is in the middle of a bonafide crisis, you are not an emergency vehicle and cannot drive as though you are. Let me repeat that for the people that just got confused...YOU ARE NOT AN EMERGENCY VEHICLE. No, it does not matter that you hate traffic jams or that you'll be late to a dinner date or appointment. Turning your hazard lights on does not authorize you to pull out of a traffic jam and onto the shoulder and then accelerate up to 70+ miles per hour in an effort to save yourself a few precious seconds on the road.

I am a former police officer and I have driven a vehicle in Code 3 status. By law I still had to operate with due regard to public safety. That means that I could and would be held liable both criminally and civilly if I ever caused harm to another person by operating in an unsafe manner. I could legally drive on the shoulder during a traffic jam with my lights and sirens on, or just my lights flashing, but I could not speed and I could only do this in an effort to get to the scene of an accident or another type of emergency. I went through a ton of specialized training to learn to operate a vehicle in emergency conditions and that was coupled with a lot of training received in the military. I was still capable of having or causing an accident if I ignored the safety of others. More importantly is the fact that I am no longer a police officer and therefore cannot drive on the shoulder for any reason. I have hazard lights on my truck, but turning them on does not make me a cop again and it does not authorize me to drive as though I am or to disregard any traffic law out there. I have to sit there just like everyone else does.

That said, yesterday I was sitting in a terrible traffic jam on beltway 8 in Houston and had three separate cars blow past me on the shoulder, all travelling at least 50 miles per hour with their hazard lights going as though that gave them the right or authority to do this. The shoulder is not a lane of travel and is reserved for emergency vehicles and disabled vehicles, not for morons who think that they are all important and have some divine right that the rest of us are simply too dumb to have been granted. The worst part about it is that two of those three cars had drivers reading and typing on their damned cell phones! Oh, crap, my bad...their mobile typing devices.

Look, I hate traffic just as much as the next guy and unfortunately I am stuck living in one of the largest cities in America, at least for now. That means that I am regularly forced to spend countless hours every year sitting in traffic at the worst possible time. We all have places to be and things to do and they all take precedence over sitting in traffic, unless you are trying to get to a root canal or something. That said, we all also have people that we care about in this world and if one of those people is injured or killed by some moron driving with their head up their ass while texting or tweeting on their phone we would be more then challenged to not hunt that person down and maim them to a point that their own mother couldn't recognize them.

So let me ask you...do you want to be that ass hat? Do you think that you are such an incredible and gifted person to not be at risk of hurting or killing someone because you couldn't make an actual phone call over texting or because it was imperative that you let your twitter sphere know that you are hungry or some other crap? NO!!! You do this shit and you are a fucking idiot that is risking not jus your life but the lives of thousands of others. Each car you successfully pass without hitting is literally a bullet dodged. I'm all for texting, tweeting, using Facebook and all the other fun stuff smart phones enable us to do, but doing any of those while driving is fucking stupid and then seriously turning on your hazard lights and disregarding every traffic law there is goes beyond belief.

WAKE UP HOUSTON! Get home safely. So your a little late, who the hell cares as long as your safe and alive and yo didn't kill anyone on your way. Make a call or put the phone down. Sit in that eternally long traffic jam, most likely caused by some asshole who was messing with their phone instead of paying attention to their driving, and stop putting everyone else at risk. It needs to be legal to literally kick the shit out of someone who causes wreck by driving with headuprectumitis.

Alright, I'm getting off my soap box, but damn! Are you seriously that damned self-absorbed that you are clueless about the thousands of other people around you? Think about it!