So you want to be Submissive?

in lifestyle •  8 years ago  (edited)

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That's a good pet, kneel and assume the position......

It would be nice to think that's the beginning of the story. But as is the case with so many other things, its nothing but the 'tip' of the iceberg. (notice what I did there)

My name is wolf-moon-girl, otherwise known as Kat, and I am a dominant leaning switch, furry goth witch and creative artist. As much as I dislike using labels sometimes its easier than having to spend eons explaining the internal workings of your inner being, this way is just quicker.

But back to the topic at hand. Its been my experience that at some point, almost every person has entertained the thought of being #submissive. Of being the 'pet' in a kinky relationship or being the saucy bit of tuna between two hunks of very attractive bread.

But, where to start?

Do you scamper off to your nearest fashion emporium and stock up on leather, lube and sexy corsetry, or do you creep in, hoping not to be noticed as you hide in the corner of your local #fetish club while secretly hoping that someone will walk past and tweak your tail?

Here is my advice.

Be informed. Be prepared. Be brave.

If you don't know a thing about the enticing world of submission, then I highly suggest that the first thing you do, is take a little time to familiarize yourself with what you can expect. A good source is oddly enough, dating sites like fetlife. They can be a good introduction to the kinky world and there are forum groups for any fetish you can think of and then some. It will pay off to know what things you may and may not like to try. This ain't no 50 shades here folks, this is the real deal.

Will you get spanked? Its highly likely that you will.

Will it hurt? Well... yes and no.

Will I have to do things I don't want to? This is a question I often hear and in all honesty, its falls into a slightly grey area that is governed by some very specific rules. The clearest rule when delving into the realm of kink, is the supreme rule of consent. You do not need to do anything that you are not comfortable with and at any time you retain the right to say no.

No, means no. End of story.

But I hear you say, 'Doesn't being submissive mean that the other person can do what they want?'.

Absolutely not. In fact, its common knowledge amongst those in the know that it is the submissive, not the dominant, who holds a lot of the power. The job of any good dominant is to ensure that their submissive playmate is kept safe, whole and protected. A dominant will test your limits, both mental and physical. And there will be times when you want to curse them to the moon and back. The key to ensuring your experience is a good one, is to fully discuss any and all interests and limits with your prospective master. Don't be shy. And do not think that just because you agreed to be hogtied and gagged, that gives someone free reign. Trust in your dominant is paramount. If you don't trust them, do NOT get into bed with them.
(NB - Please, it has to be said, if anything ever does happen against your will please talk to someone about it and notify the authorities. It is unacceptable within the community and you deserve to feel safe and supported).

With your first baby steps into the #lifestyle, be it a shoreline paddle or a long distance sea swim, keep an open mind and heart as your guide. You will laugh, giggle, squirm, pant, cry, whimper and throb....all fun at the end of the day in the life of a well satisfied submissive. You will get your bottom pinched, its just something we like to do. Fair warning given. And be aware that there will be embarrassing moments, sometimes it takes a few tries to work out what goes where and if your lucky, you and your partner will figure it out and it will become just another thing to find enjoyment in.

Be brave . Being submissive can be insanely fun and if you find a partner that you just sync with, well, get ready to have your limits tested and your socks rocked.

Above all, just remember that it is your life, no one else's. Don't let the opinions of others stop you from trying new things. There is no shame in being submissive. As a dominant the most beautiful thing can be when a submissive hands their trust to you, and you want to make them fly in return.

Stay safe lovelies. <3

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