He dare not, the day he raises a finger, or even shoddier threats are such words uttered in loud voices and confidence by most women on issues such as this one. But in reality and by inference, it is apparent and unfortunately right to say that many women involved in violent relationships today have voiced similar words and even more before going ahead with them. Still, they are locked up behind the bars of this supposedly blissful union and as if it is not enough to say that they experience such oppression, they also have to endure this till who knows when and thus, the reason for this piece, and a very serious question to begin with, why do they choose to remain and endure?
Before I proceed, it is worthy of note to say that it is not my intent to judge or condemn anyone, as no one is perfect. Rather, to bring whomever it relates to to some clarity, and proffer possible solutions and with this, I proceed. There are two sides to the previously posed question, and the woman is to be blamed either ways. Why’s that? Some may ask puzzled.
The female, is believed to be less superior to her male counterpart, which may be true, when the female willingly accepts this and subjects herself to the latter. But let’s note the word believed. During creation and in accordance with Biblical citation, the woman, was created to be a partner and an ally, which according to virtually every dictionary is not synonymous with a slave or a subject. But rather a mate and or a confidant. However, this, is not geared towards making the woman come to sudden realization of her capabilities, revolt against the man and ‘run the world’ like Beyoncé sang. Rather, it should only get her to wise up and realize that her life should not be dictated by a man’s opinion.
From opinions I gathered from various sources, most women in violent relationships today choose to stay and endure not because they can’t leave, but because leaving is actually not a choice for them. Some of them actually look up to these men as gods and believe they can’t cope without them. Most of them believe that they really ‘love’ him, which in fact may really do and no one’s blaming them for that. Nevertheless as humans, we are capable of making adjustments and adapting to new conditions and people, so really why not forge on without him and see how far that gets you.some women even sense violence before entering such relationships, but still go ahead with it, believing that they are compatible or better still, could be the one to change such person. Some still think traditionally that opting out of such relationships, especially in the case of marriage, would lead to shame, embarrassment, humiliation and isolation. Some from dysfunctional families believe that battering is very normal as they have grown and gotten used to seeing their parents that way and are thus convinced that this is a must-do in relationships. Some also remain because they dread the consequences of their children growing without a father. But who says a woman cannot raise sensible children without their father? After all, society also takes part in the training of a child, so who says she’s alone? Be it these or whatever reasons other than these, I would say BS; excuse my French. This is because no matter what circumstance a human is faced with, especially a woman in a world flourishing with men and yes but sadly witty, even women, and is aware she could lose her life at anytime with such a man, indeed has a choice.
You see, the problem is that such women keep believing there’s no progress for them once out of such relationships. Thus, cheapening herself, idolizing the man, unconsciously letting him assume the role of the sole decision maker and authoritative figure in the relationship, letting him override her and leaving her oppressed, as she has now become a stooge and assumed an inferior position in the relationship. They feel marriage is an ultimate life-long goal, rather than a blessed union and must subdue themselves before theirs can truly work. They become too agreeable and let him have the only voice, thinking this to be a sign of respect for him, she sees him as a privilege, and herself as a mere imposition and like a king, his subject. She makes herself too available and makes the man her only source of joy, showing him that she is in fact helpless without him. Quitting their dreams after marriage and letting it limit what they could actually achieve. Wow, I write this with so much pain. Anyways with all these being said, what can and must be done? It’s this simple, start unthinking all those archaic believes and stop caring about what whomever has no feel of what you’re going through would or may say and start thinking like the woman you want to be.
This is my advice to women all around the world.