I'm a wife and a mother, and my problem is that I don't find anyone better than my chest. I speak to myself all the time about what I am experiencing, and I have no friendships in the sense of the word, Most of those I know are female co-workers, and I have ten good ones with them. My unresolved problem is my good, respectful and loyal husband, who I have accepted to marry for his good qualities since I knew him in the family. And I remember that at our first meeting I talked to him about my nature because I don't tend to compliment others. And I am clear, and I have spoken to him about my work and my scientific aspiration, and I have maintained them. He also assured me that I would be an incentive for him to develop himself scientifically and practically. And we got married quickly, even though the material potential was not good, I resolved to start a successful family, and because I am not preoccupied with flashy manifestations, We rented a house, and we married in it, but I noticed from day one the opposite of what I expected. He doesn't care about details, like a general look, he doesn't matter about a wedding we're invited to. And he doesn't think about buying a new suit, even traveling after marriage, For two days, he had never been in mind, nor was he wearing harmonious colors, He neglected his hygiene, did not think about the future, and his neglected extended to his work, which was one of his advantages. He quit without having another job, and he didn't tell me. And he never thought about dialogue with me about anything. I decided not to be negative with him, encouraged him to take care of himself, arranged a celebration on every occasion Like Valentine's Day and Birthday, and I imagined he'd repeat my make with him. But for seventeen years he didn't mention my birthday or any other occasion.
And I made sure I didn't lose my job, and I'm pregnant because it's been our only source of income for so long, and it's in another valley, and it doesn't respond to any words, how many quarrels we've lived, and I've been angry with my people, and they take care of my children, and with my urgency to return, the same scenario is repeated. The days went by and I had three children, and as if I had married him to have them, they were the "one thing" that made me feel there, even though I took full responsibility.
And I made sure I didn't lose my job, and I'm pregnant because it's been our only source of income for so long, and it's in another valley, and it doesn't respond to any words, how many quarrels we've lived, and I've been angry with my people, and they take care of my children, and with my urgency to return, the same scenario is repeated. The days went by and I had three children, and as if I had married him to have them, they were the "one thing" that made me feel there, even though I took full responsibility.
Gradually, after the birth of my third child, who is now 11 years old, five years ago, we became completely apart, even though we are in one house, do not treat us. He works now at a company, but he missed a lot of careers. I am still uncomfortable, and I write to you this letter, to tell you that I do not want to complete my life with this image, and at the same time I do not want to raise my children away from their father, who loves them, and I cannot make a decision to separate from him, and he believes that life is simple and does not need all this endeavor. From his point of view, satisfaction is mysticism and remoteness from ephemeral pleasures - as he puts it - and I want life in all its pleasures.
The psychological stress on me has become very severe, especially at this point, because I am forty-two years old, and I feel young, and it makes me feel old, and I ask you: Am I patient and satisfied with this "living", or do I buy myself, sell my children, and the man I chose wrongly, and I have thought of myself without looking at them?
To write this letter, I say:
If both of you know the foundations and rules of the perfect relationship between the couple to get rid of minor problems and see a way to treat the "little details" of your life together Each party must improve the cohabitation of the other and have a sincere counsel. Disregarding values and ethics in the relationship between spouses leads to disagreements, Problems, and crises that may corrupt and precipitate their relationship may occur, and handling may be the biggest problem. The couple resorts to resolving their differences in a manner that satisfies both of them without taking into account the feelings of the partner of life. And here the clash occurs and the problems complicate and end in divorce, which is the undesirable end after all attempts and conciliation efforts fail.
Religious and social awareness play a major role in guiding both to fulfill their marital duties. hence many crises are contained before they worsen, Because most of them arise from mutual neglect of matrimonial duties, where everyone is preoccupied with their rights, He neglects his duties, Islam takes care of each other's rights and makes men's rights, He has duties, he has rights for women and he has duties, and when each of the parties performs his duties he will inevitably acquire his rights. But the problem is to demand rights only, and differences must be in the context of a life of affection and compassion. unilaterally resolved, without insulting or abusing each other, If both spouses had realized that, devastating differences would not have known their way into their lives. and that every dispute in their lives ended in time without being felt by one of their surroundings.
Matrimonial disputes need a mind and wisdom to deal with them because the intransigence of one or both spouses compounds them. We have to see them that the Messenger of Allah's Peace Be upon Him cursed those who resort to divorce without need or necessity whether it be a man or a woman. "God cursed every absolute taste", that is, God cursed every man who marries a woman to enjoy her for a while, and then divorced her to marry another woman for pleasure and lust. "Any woman who has asked her husband a divorce is not okay - any unnecessary - is deprived of the smell of paradise."
It is in this spirit that you are advised to perform each other's duties before claiming their rights. You have to come together with your husband, quietly process the little details, and obey him of desire, It is not about awe. Obedience in the non-disobedience of God is one of the most important signs of a woman's love for and concern for her husband. She requires a man to be in love with his wife to satisfy her. And your differences are very small, not contrary to your goals and ambition, and I ask him to draw to his house And to realize that mutual love between you requires attention to the things you see. and that there must be a point at which they will meet, and things will improve with God's permission.