Forever - A poem for the loved and lost.

Forever we remain oblivious to the future,
lost to the past and enduring our torture.
Forever we take chances to settle our scores,
losing some battles and winning some wars.
Forever praying out loud hoping someone will hear,
forever crying softly but never shedding a tear.
Forever exists behind a disguise,
but the belief in forever keeps our hearts alive.

This poem i found in the winter of 2013, and always kept it in my notepad all these years.
This is how it all ended for me... After a 2h long fight with my fiancee, we couldnt take it anymore, we both wanted to take the car. When she drove off, i jumped into the car. After a 10minute long silence, she hit a small rodent, the car spun and we crashed into a ditch.
We were both stuck, i was conscience but immobile but she was laying head first on the steering wheel. Our car was already calling emergency services on its own, cause i totally forgot to call. After, what felt like hours, she came by, when we locked eyes, we both smiled, and said sorry to eachother, on the background we could hear the sirenes coming.

The last fight i had was that day before the car ride in 2013, my last words were "im sorry i broke your mothers urn". She already was unconscience again, and when they finally got her out of the wreckage, the bleeding were to much to stop.
The only thing i could do was kiss her 1 final time. I hope she felt it and took it with her to a better place.

Forever in my thoughts <3 Emily