A ROMANCE PARODY

Now I want to write a romance parody.

My pen name shall be Bilson Moon ( a play on Mills and Boon)
The protagonist shall be called Thorn Spears and the object of his desire Melody Rose Worth ( a melodic flower who's worthy of his love) "Miss" Melody Rose Worth. Makes her sound more innocent and virginal and in need of protection. No , I can do better than that. They already have these sort of names. I'll have to think of something even more ridiculous. How about Rory Motion or Seymour flesh? Ellie Gant, or Celia Fate for her?
I know! Randy Shaft and Eve Anne Jellick. Perfect! She'll be an innocent naive young virgin.
I'll call it " The thrill of the chaste".
It'll be a real bodice ripper. Rather Risqué but not quite mummy porn/ fifty shades of filth.

Of course there must be an antagonist also, our worthy Hero's arch nemesis and adversary competing for the love of the beautiful maiden. His name shall be Snidely Unctuous. He is the obstacle who stands in the way of true love by sowing seeds of discord and causing misunderstandings etc , until our worthy hero finds a way to resolve the conflict, he somehow defeats the scheming worm and wins the love of the fair damsel!

He mercilessly and unashamedly ravages her on a church pew and then carries her off into the sunset on a white horse, her clothing all tattered and torn.

I don't know who'd read it
Readers of romance obviously don't have a sense of humour or they'd be splitting their sides laughing at what they read already
I mean, I'm not if sure one could even parody this sort of thing, it's almost a parody in itself.
The very fact this tripe is seemingly churned out on a daily basis, makes one terrified at the mentality of the average person.