4 BETTER, 4 WORSE

Am sorry ma'am, we did all we could

Words like that; hurtful, just like bombs exploding underneath a being. Hearing them from someone you thought held the key to the life of a loved one is worse than devastating. I walked into the room not sure what to expect.
Where is he? I asked the nurse.
The look on her face spelt confusion. Who would'nt be?
Where was the man who left me this morning full of life and expectation? All i could see was a man covered in bandages...an all white ghost. i struggled to move forward, scared to bits that my fears will be confirmed. Scared that my once dashing wide eyed amazing stylish man had been exchanged for this person covered in a white cast......Scared to death.

Your eyes were distant and dim. I could see a tear just at the brink of falling, u held it back and fought so hard. What was on your mind? Not sure what to do say to make you feel better. I had a permanent smile on my face, my way of reassuring you that I was there with you every step of the way.

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months and still the experience had changed you. The man with a permanent smile lost the will to smile, the fun part of you disappeared. The witty and cheerful you was replaced with a gloomy, uninterested man. I understand that you have seen hell, but why let it break you?

Your confidence disappeared. You don't look into my eyes anymore. I often felt intimidated by you, but now you feel intimidated by me. How can you turn a once focused and determined man into a scared and frightened woman.
I vowed to stand by you no matter it takes and yet here am i so confused on how to get through to you.

Talking does you no good and intimacy you seem to loathe. Nothing excites you anymore and that i find scary. Could it be that the experience led you to outgrow me and I lost you?

Today I wake up, determined to get you back. Though you do not cheat with a woman, it feels that way. Sitting at your bedside staring into your eyes, I searched your soul for what was lost. And as thoughtful and sensitive as you are you read my mind and spoke. It was a relief.

What goes on in your mind when you look at me? Don't you feel like packing your bags and leaving? I look like a monster, i feel like a monster. Why are you still here? Why do you care for me, hold me and even want to make love to me?

*We are married, I would not be here if i did not love you. Your looks were not and still are not my concern neither is anything that bothers you right now. I am here with you because i love you. I agree you had an accident and are now left with scars reminding you of that horrible experience. if i could take all that away right now, i would. YES....u look different but then FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE were not just words. It was my promise!

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Be beautiful your own way