Before I start firing away at the keyboard, I wish to say no person is a total authority when it comes to love. We only attempt what we think we know and even those who often give the best advice in love affairs sometimes don't get it right when it comes to them and might even be single because someone once said in football, a coach will give the best tactical decision to win a trophy but guess what? Coaches don't even play.

Man is a single component (action) which is further subdivided into three sub components:

• Thoughts: These are the unspoken actions.
• Words: These are the spoken actions.
• Deeds: These are the taken actions.
  All these components play an integral role in any relationship because unless we figure out when to apply each component, we become stuck in an endless loop of toxicity which not only limits us and drains us, it puts us in a position where we are informed and enlightened.

Truth be told, I am an emotional person and that puts me at a disadvantage because once I love someone, I find it hard to hold things in. Once anger strikes, I just want to get rid of it. It is like putting nitro on a bicycle kind of experience for me, all I want to do is just fire it all away until I am drained and then I will become calm once more. The truth is, I discovered that the character only puts me in a vulnerable spot and exposes the weakness of my partner which should never be my aim.

The aim of every relationship is to become the best of ourselves for someone, not because it seems logical to you or the rest of the world, but because you know you care so much about someone that you see only the chances of success despite the odds of failure, thereby creating a blend of the recipes for perfection.

Understanding your personality type also plays a large role in building the recipe for success. The truth is I know my personality type, I get upset over little things. The major things like cheating might not even phase me longer than a day or two before I am back to normal, but little things like harsh words, not being willing to listen to me and always wanting to be right/ never accepting one's personal faults just get me riled up and leaves me feeling like I am being poked at the side with needles.

Then suddenly I feel I am being taken for granted which further complicates issues, but here is the funny twist... I do not stay angry for long. @coachlovemore once said something funny one day: He said "@ehiboss is the kind of guy the will get upset quickly, but then after a couple of minutes, he will forget about what got him angry in the first place and start acting like nothing ever happened and even pop champagne with you." People don't know this but an apology is enough to put a full stop to someone with my personality type.

Now this brings me to my next point which is finding a silver lining to a dark cloud. Those with my personality type possess a similar response to similar situations with slight variations arising from the fact that environmental interactions create those variations.

Back to our gist, understand what poses a great threat to your relationship and tackle it because at the end of the day it becomes a scenario whereby we choose which is more important between our pride or our relationship.
A relationship should be the most beautiful thing to us and your partner should bring color into it. The person might be annoying and what have you, but when we see the beauty within, that is the first step in the right direction.

The truth is forget what you see in the textbooks and what people come up with telling you how a "perfect" relationship should be like, forget all the "a real man does this" or "a real woman does that" the reason is because no two relationship might follow the same set of defined parameters.
Real people simply don't listen to some people's fantasy of how other people's relationship should be like, they steadily and patiently form their own perfect relationship.

A relationship that will work is not defined by other people's views, it is formed by your views from what you've learnt and the greatest recipe for success is either using the actions or opinions of others to judge your own. If you feel your partner is not good enough, why date them in the first place? Are you 100% perfect? When you answer that, then you can talk.
If your partner is not beautiful or handsome enough for you, that is simply just being shallow because what if something happens to you and your own beauty and handsomeness is all gone and because of that your partner abandons you?

Furthermore, when anger is the issue, instead of automatically looking for the comfort zone (shouting incompatibility and quitting), why don't you take conscious efforts to work on that anger. Anger never did anyone good. I used to get angry a lot, but I asked myself which was more important and I chose my partner and I have taken conscious steps to checkmate my anger.

Work on yourself first before even thinking about quitting, if not we might end up regretting at the end of the day. The greatest love stories were not about comfort and 'compatibility' it was more about people who wanted to make it work. Think about Jack and Rose, think about Romeo and Juliet, it was not about how people defined love for them, it was more about how they defined it for themselves.

I always prayed for someone who won't quit on me despite my flaws and God answered that prayer. Define your relationship yourself.

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