Love or Hate

What is love, what is hatred. Sometimes I love someone so much that betrayal leads to hate for this person.Have you ever felt this way? I have been meeting this guy for 2 months now; he is 4 years younger then me.I thought in the beginning that he was worth less than me - as I am older, and more mature ... I thought i wouldn't fall in love with this guy...When we met he only wanted sex from me and I was okay with that, that's how we became sexfriends no attach.. Until my feelings started to grow for him. I was in denial during 1 month and a half, comparing our worth and thinking whatever he did didn't have any impact on me. I started searching sign that he wanted more than our sexfriend relationship, signs that didn't even exist, trying to reassure myself that he wanted more than that. I started talking about him everyday to all of my friends. One day I even had a dream in which he said I was only a hole for him ( quite crude right). That day I woke up, went to one of my best friends flat and started crying in her arms. That was then that I realised... I've fell in love. It was too late... That day I felt the urge to tell him I had feelings, so I asked him if he ever counted on making me his girlfriend one day or if we were going to stay like this during the entire year. He told me that he didn't know. Even now I feel quite sad that I was stupid enough to think that he could want me or see me as something more than just sex .
All of this to say that in love there is no reason why you all in love you just do. I will never forget that you shouldn't judge someone's worth, who was I to judge.

Love and kisses <3

Hope you like this first real post please comment and follow me. What do you think have you ever experienced something similar let me know. :)