Gender Relationship
"Love is blind" that saying has been here for a long time , although I never gave it much importance till this moment.
I fell in love with a damsel at first sight on 1st of February 2017; then I found out you can express much of your love for someone and various reactions can follow ; take a look at the Analogy below:
- X loves Y and Y as a feeling for X ,but Y feels X is not the one
- X loves Y ,Y loves Z and Z loves X (keep wanting what does not want them)
- X loves Y but Y only enjoy the company and chase of X. (No love in return).
You would notice that the problem isn't with either Y,X or Z but with nature of human rationality;most time ladies tend to have a bad feeling about the concept guy and vice versa, that why we all share the blame. I'm the X
Anyway back to my story I found the supposed perfect one a year back , within that period I made advancement towards her,and she switched me to the friend zone couple of months later I gently entered with no hurry to come out(Blind love) but I noticed she understood the fact I had some bad habit like Drinking and I felt Oh let me stop,just to get myself out of the friend zone relationship because day after day I kept having her thought in my head , Blind I was truly because she was even a step ahead in the e friend zone chapter. Kept shooting my shot but all shot futile ,then after a Swift action was taken by telling her that I would stop the Chase Game because it seems to me she enjoys the chase I requested we end our friendship with her response laying emphasis on me being sure if I really wanted to; in the end I said yes . But I noticed something in my story that she falls in between two of my Analogy (1 or 3). She made a particular sentence on the day I finally decided to know my fate in the relationship ; she said " I have checked you in and out but still don't believe you are not the one( she feels am a very good guy but still can't go to relationship with me) with this particular statement you would agree with me that her heart lies between Analogy 1 or 3.
✓ But what could have prompted such feeling ? "Most of the time our Emotions are just too weak to actually force somethings that are meant to be but we keep embracing the feeling that it not meant to be" .
I noticed the last day of our friendship that she had mood swing when I took Alcohol and Smoked in front of her as a consequence of who ever lose the game we played with friends that particular night and she decided to leave and told me she can't date a smoker (That part of me, she doesn't know before ) along that story line you would notice she felt something for me but never wanted to show it because she still handle her weak emotions but one can put up a argument that she didn't in anyway feel anything for me because her mood swings to me smoking could be that she was actually buying her time to see the last bit of me before should make up her mind it logical she was only looking for a genuine reason not to go into a relationship with me .My story proves to be what you are going through as a guy or even a ladies , keep calm I have a solution below.
Now ease you tension and take a look at the this Analogy
✓ X pretend and Y plays along but both X and Y ended up perfect ( They got to understand and love each other)
✓ X is innocent and Y is Sybaritic and X ended up changing Y and they had a perfect relationship.
The above analogy give a new insight to Relationship problems most of the time guys are always at the mercy (of the ladies) and this gives ladies the edge to always look out for perfection in guys, the analogy above tell a story of how we always can get perfection through imperfection.
✓ Exactly where I was heading, guys forget the perfection part because we are at the ladies mercy and they only search for the perfection because guys are always at their mercy. But ladies should understand that we don't have the sole perfect guys out there.(Some are rich and dirty ,some are brilliant but poor in appearance e.t.c) and same thing goes for the ladies too we don't have that sole perfect person, To avoid that relationship problem we have to neglect the search for the perfect one. My point is if that circle continues we would keeping having relationship problem and if ladies start thinking otherwise we would start progressing even as units that would better the country and stop the PDA(public display of affection)
We can easily figure out from other people reaction when the show some kind of affection or care , it wouldn't be a problem if we don't induce from out past experience to judge them. The simple thought(way) to get perfection through imperfection is to give it go and make a move neglecting the past and quest for perfection. I will have to highlight it that our Emotions become our fear and the moment we start fighting our fear the stronger we are to find the missing piece of ours.
Olowoyo Oreoluwa