An Advice If You've Just Broken Up

You may have heard that love is beautiful. Yet, on the other hand, love is also something mysterious, more so than why Libra's finances are dragging today, or why someone would rather rinse the ice cream lid with water and throw it away instead of licking the ice cream.

Love is not between black and white, the spectrum of colors is very diverse. Thus, a completely beautiful love does not exist because the feeling of love comes with consequences.

Love is a natural feeling when viewed from the cause and effect, because it comes from human hormones themselves. Many psychological studies link falling in love with emotions and feelings, so this 'love' falls into the category of emotions. Some that we may have felt are anxiety, fear, and romance.

And like I said, love is mysterious. You can gather dozens of people, ask them questions, and you'll be surprised that there might not be a single thing you can pinpoint. Yes, love is always interesting. Sometimes, love can come suddenly, but that doesn't mean it can't come through a long process. As for why love is hard to understand, it's because of its impact;

making someone change, endure, and separate.

Back to the title, what advice can be given to those who have just 'broken up', in this context is a comfort.

Love contains lust, attraction, and attachment. It's just a matter of what level that love is at. What is meant by a breakup here is two people who were previously in a romantic relationship, and then broke up, right?

A breakup means the end of an intimate relationship. From the definition, this actually also includes the breakup of marriage. However, the diversity of terms has made it easier. The end of a marriage relationship is more commonly referred to as 'separation' or 'divorce'. For this reason, we hope that this discussion will not go anywhere.

Everyone is usually aware that they are in love. Although, I have read in some fictional stories that the characters do not realize that they are in love. Such cases in real life, definitely exist. But, it's just a matter of time. The point is, it takes time for someone to realize that they are in love.

Most importantly, after knowing that the feeling is special-containing several emotions and elements such as attachment, lust, and attraction, which will not be explained here because the questioner and reader of this answer must be someone who has realized what love is, haha-not denial of their feelings.

Okay, so after a breakup, what advice can I give you.

1. No need to rush to move on
Yep, you read that right. Some people may recommend that you immediately look away, forget, and eliminate everything about him from your life. But, in my opinion, there are many who would agree that moving on is hard! Especially for those who have been in a relationship for years, seeing his face and laughter is like blinking your eyes every so often.

For that reason, don't force it.

2. Normalizing feelings of longing and emptiness without him
This is the part that you will go through, whether you want to or not, whether you like it or not. You will feel intense longing and worse, emptiness. If such a moment occurs, let the feelings flow as they are.

"Yes, I miss him." Tell yourself that, don't argue with yourself and keep thinking things like... 'it would have been better if I didn't meet him in the first place' or 'if only we didn't break up, we would be together now' or 'I miss him so much, I want to see him.'

Homesickness is normal! Miss it, yes, let it go!

But, when you already know that your decision to part ways is the best one, letting him go because he doesn't deserve it, or you're the one who's suddenly shocked by the news of the termination without knowing why, the point is that staying together will only make you or both of you hurt.

All you have to do is accept the longing, smile, and start your day with fun things. Eat chocolate, eat vegetables, go watch a movie you love, go for a walk, exercise, shopping, whatever! As long as it's positive and not too much.

3. Short reflection
Yes, this is just a short reflection, so you don't need to overthink it. Look at what opportunities you can get after breaking up with him. Don't look far away, look nearby first.

You're free, you're in control of yourself, you're still alive, you can still smile just by pulling your lips together, you can dance just by moving your body parts little by little, you can start looking at stuff in online stores and pick out that cute necklace that would be so beautiful around your neck. Then most importantly, there's still the sun, the air, and all the nurturing that the earth provides.

The point is, you just need to find another way to be happy and be okay again. It's okay, it's hard. It's okay if you have to take it slow. Remember, it's not just you or me who can survive after coming out of the pit of heartbreak, everyone has a chance!