Photo by "WAKE UP" I scream in the mirror as I go for another splash of water to the face. The time is 10:00am and I've just gotten out of bed. On the weekend waking up at 10 would never be a problem, but it's Monday and i'm late for work again. I'm late for a job where I work from home. A job where I set my own hours. And in the time of COVID I refuse to cut myself any slack. I am, in so many ways, my own worst enemy.
Something I have always been bad at is standing up for myself. Whether it's a small dispute over who should do the dishes, or an all out argument about finances my heart always goes into overdrive the moment I have to stick up for myself and for my own best interests. I consistently struggle to understand why I do this. Often asking myself aloud for some clarity on the topic as if I hold all the answers to myself inside a corner of my own subconscious that is inaccessible. Then, when the answer doesn't come I become frustrated with my own brain for its inability to interpret my actions. So, I can't even stand up to myself.
Self love is most certainly not a science. It is a messy gray area that I struggle to exist in, one that many of us struggle to even address. So, to identify a starting point in this journey to self love I would pose the question: how do you stand up to yourself? How do you protect you from yourself? If you happen to read this I would love to hear your thoughts and answers in the comments below.
I will likely post soon with my response to this issue, but first I would like input from others if possible. Thanks!