To My Girl, Tisa...

I'm here writing you shortly after a long enough conversation that resulted in us both extinguishing this relationship in the most civil range possible. Do I want this? Hell no... But do I respect it? Of course... I know that a man in my head space is probably not the easiest to entertain, for that, I sincerely apologize. I admit, I probably need therapy to close some chapters in my life that need to be acknowledged. I have read many notes and heard many more words of your issues with me, and knowledge enough to fix. I do not intend on my actions to be a broken record player, but more a song that reminds you of my best intent. I'm sorry I have allowed you to derive negative feelings with my insecurities, yet I know I can fix them... I mean we have only been dating 4+ months, even though it feels longer. It's been MANY roller coasters of adventures, feelings, memories, etc. that has caused us to feel like a more defined couple. And I'm actually proud of that. We have so much potential it creates insane amounts of De-Ja-Vu of foreshadow. I mean fuck... The amount of songs alone we have introduced to each other, is that of a pair of old farts.

Needless to say, we know we've been seeing issues within each other. 99% of them are mine... I admit. And all I can say, a stor, is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my run in with past women has mainly caused me to be a defensive, outraged jerk that expects the worst. I'm sorry that I throw out an outraged offensive, thinking that's the best defense. I forget you aren't a combative, but more my partner in crime. I allow my feelings to take initial action, instead of a level head that is more logical. I'm sorry for prematurely assuming, thus making an ass out of me and...me. I'm sorry I make you feel anxiety and uncertainty. I'm sorry my initial responses sound more that of a scared kid, than that the man you NEED. Although, as I constantly remind you, I am ONLY but a trying man... But that's how I know I can deliver better, inch by inch. 4+ months to old age...

I mean BABE!... In 4 Months?!?!

To only show a few....

I mean Fuck! I'm trying to save our memories ever second I can! Here's one with us as I'm typing this in current time!

I will respect the end, but doesn't mean I won't keep trying to better myself for the official role of:

Tisa's Bear Man!

Because there can be only one... That role is MINE! and I don't play nice with others about sharing such trophy... I want you Tisa, my bean sprout... You're the genes I want in my children. You're the partner I want a part of my Empire. You're the Wife I envisioned when I was younger. You're the love I need when I'm off my game... You're the woman for me, and I don't want to lose you just yet...

You deserve better, and you're going to get better.

Guac- Over And Out - <3