Last time I had my heart broken, I was 14. Looking at it now, I'm asking myself how the hell did I survive that? This helpless feeling of not being able to ever heal, I remember. I just don't remember what I did to overcome it. It's kinda funny. How did a 14 year old survive heartbreak but a 27-year-old doesn't know where to start when it comes to healing itself?
I thought I brought a lot to the table but I just learned that it will never be enough to make anyone stay. Table or no table, if they want to be there - they'll be there. They'll stay. They'll stay and eat on the floor if it means they get to eat with you.
I've been told that his decisions have nothing to do with me... and yet. I still find myself blaming myself for letting it get this far. I had so many opportunities to leave. So many red flags that I just kept on ignoring and trying to justify them to make it work. I also know I deserve so much better but I'm also disappointed with myself for still caring and still fantasizing about this working out. Some days can be so easy and some days are really hard. I can't even listen to music the same way.
I hate myself for giving a part of myself to you. Now I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she's had half of me.
Hang in there @janiceleimarie. I know it's hard to turn off caring and it's hard not to blame yourself, but the truth is it's not your fault. It doesn't matter if you knew all along that he was cheating on you; the fact is he didn't do the right thing. End of story. You can blame yourself all you want but what happened was a result of a decision HE made. It's true that the reason he cheated on you has nothing to do with you. If he was a person of high morals nothing you could do would cause him to even think about anyone else. You will get over this the same way you got over it when you were 14, by meeting someone better and in time. It takes time and a commitment from you that you will seek the respect you deserve. Hope that helps
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Thank you for your kind words. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.
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I know it’s a played out saying but it really is true and relevant: time heals all wounds. You will get past this, you got this!
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I don't know where I would be without your patience and your wisdom. Love you <3
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