Yes, LOVE is COMPLICATED!

in love •  7 years ago 

“They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!” ― C. JoyBell C.

Yes, LOVE is COMPLICATED!

And so, I heard the words spoken by another…
”Love is complicated, it is no wonder I stopped watching love stories long ago.”


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Processing these words in my mind almost made me choke in disbelief.

How one dimensional could you possibly be?!

If I were to attach an analogy to that,
I would say that every child should just give up learning to ride a bicycle or surf,
the first time they fail at it….
Does that not just sound completely ridiculous?! –
Well, it may not to you… but it definitely does to me!

“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where your headed”
― Jodi Picoult

Anything in life which is TRULY worth having is seldom going to be handed to you on a golden platter… LEAST of all LOVE! Love requires an elevated level of trust, dedication and selflessness. It requires PASSION... and YES, both the positive and negative aspects of such.

So many people seem to have this distorted
“rose tinted glasses”
view of what true love is and they could not be more WRONG!!!

Yes, love is beautiful and is the TRUE essence of ALL life. It is grand beyond all other emotions, but TRUE love, is not about flowers and perfect pictures!! Real love is about standing the test of time... and riding the waves alongside one another. It is about facing differences; it is about overcoming challenges of personality, opinion and all the rest of that meaningless egotistical stuff. It is about standing together no matter what, It is about finding the center of one another, acknowledging the noise and then being able to put all of that to one side, still being able to see one another in the same light… appreciating the beauty, value and uniqueness of the other and holding the gratitude for that blessing in your life.


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It is about understanding and acceptance. It is about forgiveness and compassion. Love is eternal. It does not switch on and off like lust or infatuation. It is a constant. Never wavering! It will be tried and tested again and again and it will still come out of the storm standing. THAT, is true love…

Ask any couple that has been together for any length of time what TRUE love and dedication is, and you will be delivered the truth – and to be clear, by a “long time together” I am not referring to this 21st century relationship crap of 5 years together. I am talking about people that have been together for 40+ years. Speak to those people. THEY know what real love is! They know how many mountains and valleys they have travelled together and know WELL the trials that came along with those journeys… but at the end of the day, they came out of it all… not only together, but with a far greater love and understanding of one another than they had when they first set out on their journey.

They held a respect for their fundamental emotion and affinity for one another close to their hearts and they did NOT allow the chaos of the world, its materialistic and egotistical matters to come between them – and it is THIS which makes what they hold between them so GREATLY POWERFUL!


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What I am saying here is not in any way limited to intimate relationships.
It is applicable when it comes to family and friends too!

Don't talk to me about how you have been hurt...
That is NO excuse for closing your heart and taking love for granted.
I have had my heart squashed in fists,
beaten and spat out more times than I care to remember,
and if I am honest,
I love more now than I ever did back then...

because I have a MUCH healthier respect for its value now

But, we live in a generation of instant gratification. Things need to be perfect “instantly” and if they aren’t, well… there must be an app which can fix that… right?! People just don’t have any FNCKING staying power anymore! If it looks like too much work, they are so much quicker to just throw up their hands and surrender….

LOVE is not about scoring bloody points or levelling up. People’s hearts, emotions and lives are not a damn video game. It is not about gifs and emoticons, because no we are not all chubby little fncking yellow body-less heads. It is not about one liners and voice messages, because life involves actual paragraphs!

Love is not about getting everything you want all the time. Love is not about breaking the other person down so that you can feel better about yourself. Love is not about always being right. Love is not about dictation and demand. Love is not about control. Love is NOT selfish!

“Only love of a good woman will make a man question every choice, every action. Only love makes a warrior hesitate for fear that his lady will find him cruel. Only love makes a man both the best he will ever be, and the weakest. Sometimes all in the same moment. -Wicked ” ― Laurell K. Hamilton


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Love is a calm,
yet simultaneously ferociously dedicated passion...
an ever burning fire that is FOREVER THERE!
It may not always be flinging its hot, ,wild arms in the air,
but even when just a warm coal,
is quickly raised by a breeze that dares to test it.

-Me-

And yes, Love definitely IS complicated…
and for that reason - is only experienced amongst those
who hold a true appreciation for its magnificence!

As for the rest, well...
they are missing out on the entire purpose of life and that
...is their loss!

“We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved.” ― C. JoyBell C.


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Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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In a sense, Love is the great mystery; a mystery that is meant to be experienced, but not necessarily understood.

Friend of mine (whom I consider to have a fair amount of wisdom) likes to say that you don't get to choose who you fall in love with, but you can definitely choose who you rise in love with.

You covered a lot of awesome and spot-on aspects here; yet there is always the "x-factor" that we can't explain. It's the ways love doesn't make sense. The way you find yourself almost falling apart around someone you can — by all measures of logic — determine is "SO not your type." And yet it works, and it works powerfully.

Love is, perhaps, the closest we get to true selflessness.

xo

You never cease to amaze me with the way you break things down so elegantly @denmarkguy. And I love that expression of your friends. So very beautiful and true!!!

Thank you for this. Love is truly complicated and not at all easy most of the time. It drains you emotionally, spiritually and physically. The hard work you put in and the effort should be done equally by both sides. It’s not always a Disney movie but the beautiful moments you expierence together only helps to make you grow and reaffirm your love. It takes two and finding a soul to really love is wonderful! ;)

Very well said @selenityliz - and yes, quite right... it most certainly is NOT a Disney Movie LOL!!!

I love love! Great collection of songs and quotes here. Love is the never-ending source for art and still we strive to understand it. The greatest mystery of all. One of my favorite things about the emotion work that I do is that it holds that love is not an emotion - because emotions are fleeting, but real love is so, so much bigger than that. <3

Beautifully put @uniwhisp!!!! xxx And thank you for the lovely feedback. I am glad you enjoyed the piece and the music hehe ;)

Extensively described how love is and I think in every stage of life, we perceive different kind of love and understand more about it. Amazingly, I noticed that kids do have strong ability to love. Like no matter how a parents scold them, after a while, they would still go back to their parents and love them back. Haha... that’s my case study.

So true @kimzwarch! In fact, I would go as far as to say that kids and animals are the only ones that truly know what unconditional love is

Sadly, we gotta learn from the kids and animals then :P

hahaha indeed!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Whoever isnt ready to acvept that love complicated should try not to fall in one cos you would be disappointed..you are so right @jaynie

well said @mcsamm :)

Though strong the aura love exhume, but when its bites, the pain doesn't fade easily... Therefore @jaynie, its love is indeed one complex emotion,... who can actually decipher it?

Nobody I dont think lol - not truly, anyway...

@jaynie... Its no doubt love is a really beautiful things especially when you fine someone who feels exactly the same way...

But on the contrary, i dont think love is necessarily complicated. I believe it is just us as individuals that make issues complicated all together...

But really... Love truly is beautiful

Humans complicate EVERYTHING.... lol

Love is a beautiful thing. It makes sense and life becomes worth living if your love is been appreciated and loved back the same way you loved. Though sometime we might not get what we want or what we are giving. Love is sweet and ahould not be made complicated by the one who claims he/she loved

Love is truly complicated that is why it has many different definitions and
every one define it to suit his or her purpose of understanding. @jaynie.

Totally agree !