"WHY NOT?: A Single Parent's Sentiments"

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The most difficult part of dating a single parent is deciding how much risk your own child's heart is worth." -Dan Pearce

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Why? Why her? She has a child already. Why love a single mom? Why don’t you love a girl with no extra package? It would just give you a hard time. Her priorities would be her child. They will be just an addition to your cost.

Common questions and common comments of the society to a person who chose to love a single mom like me. To a person who has seen beyond what the society can see and notice.

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These past few weeks, I had noticed a lot of social media posts of men who are strong enough to share that they are in love with single parents, who sometimes have 2 or 3 children already. I had also seen a post of a single mom in a particular social media that she was left by her partner because of her situation. The boy said that he loves the girl so much but the boy is not yet ready to have a bigger responsibility in loving someone with a child.

The usual question of the society to someone who chose to love a single parent is “Why?” They would always ask “why?” But I always ask in return with “Why not?” “Why not love a single parent?” We are also human. We have feelings too. We can also feel everything that you’re feeling right now. We eat the food you eat. We know how it feels to be hurt. We know how to laugh. Most especially, we know how to love and we have a lot of room for that.
As a single parent, I had already faced a lot of challenges that this world could offer. Coming from looking for ways to feed my child and looking for a safe and comfortable place for him to sleep and grow. Facing the challenges of providing their needs and their wants. Most especially in facing a society filled with discriminations to us, single parents.

"She got pregnant at an early age." "She has no plan in life." "She has no longer have a future." Name it! I had received all of that and more of that from the society. But after all of what happened, we stood up and stood still. Because if we allow that to affect us, it is our children who will be the number one who will be affected by it, so we must be strong for them.

So my question now again is, why not? Why not love a single parent? If that man could stand for the both of you then, why not? If he could stand for all the promises he said, then why not? If he can accept you for who you are and what you are, then why not? If he can manage and don't mind hearing those awful words coming from the society, then why not? Because if you are really man enough and if you really love that person so much, then nothing else will matter other than your love for each other. And if you had reached the maturity to understand and see the world in different perspective, then it won't be hard and impossible for you to love a single parent like me.

I had an almost a year relationship after my break up with the father of my son. He also has a son but he got separated from the mother of his son and his son is not in his custody. I was really happy back then because having the same situation would make him understand me more. But there was a time that he made me choose between him and my son. Without hesitation and second thoughts, I chose my son. Because if he really loves me and true to me, he should not have made me chose between him and my son. Loving me also means loving my son. My son is a part of me and loving me also means loving him too. I always emphasize that he will just be my number two and my number one would always be my son. Until such time that he met someone who is young and who is still single and no child yet. I did my best to fix us but I guess, he was happier and more loved by his new girl. I had forgiven them already even if they did not ask for forgiveness from me.

And now, I had promised myself that if I would be given a chance to love again, that I would always and forever choose my son over other people. If that person can't accept that, then that's no longer my problem. Because if he really loves me then nothing else will matter but his love for me.

Now, I am seeing someone. He has a son too. The mother of his son is now happily married to another man. We are still in the process of getting to know each other. We planned to take it slow and take one step at a time. We will not rush things. I had also clarified to him that my son would be my main priority. He said he understands me and my situation and he accepts me and my son. He said that he loved me on how I take good care and love my son and how proud I am of him. And if God will guide and allow us to last forever, then I would be very thankful to Him. For He had given me another chance to love and be loved.

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So to all those Single Parents out there who haven't met their future partner yet, don't be tired of waiting. Time will come in its perfect way. God will introduce you to someone whom you deserve and who deserves you. Someone who would respect and accept you for who you are and never turn you into someone who you are not. You don't have to settle for less because you are awesome. Never settle for someone who will just take you for granted just because you are a single parent. We all deserve the best. We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to be happy in another way of another. We should never close our doors for possible happenings in our life. God has a bigger and more beautiful plan for us. Let's just be patient in His plans and trust His will.

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Thank You for reading! Feel free to comment and suggest for future topics that I could discuss.

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@jeraterta

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