THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE
“Why not him, he seems nice.” Jane is now growing weary of hearing the same question from his father piecing her ears like a sharp nail each time a suitor leaves they house. It’s not that she don’t want to marry, most of those men who came to marry her are very outstanding and a lot of other girls will even pay to be in her shoes but yet they seems not to be good enough for her. “I will marry the one I love” she often says in response. She is still engrossed in the conviction that she must feel love for a man in other to marry him.
Most of us are like Jane, (I know I was) we are waiting to feel a special something before we can conclude that we love the people in our lives, we often expect a thingy feeling deep in our stomach in other to be sure it’s really love. I once had a chat with a girlfriend of mine who had two suitors after she told me she’s finally chosen one of the suitors. I asked why she chose the one over the other; she said to me that she felt more love for that one than the other.
Immediately, it downed on me. We all go about making the same mistake and teaching our children as well. At one point or another in our lives, we all need to experience love but the truth which a lot of people do not know is that YOU DON’T FEEL LOVE. Love is not an emotion or a feeling. Love is a choice we have to make. It’s a commitment we have to engage.
You don’t love someone because you feel a thingy sensation deep inside your belly or that you feel a thing (as most people usually say). You love someone because you have made a choice either deliberately or not, you made a choice, you choose to love that particular person. It’s this choice that permits the thingy sensation or whatever it’s you feel.
I believe that why we often don’t notice this is mostly because we make those choices unknowingly. We do not have control over our minds, we allow it to make most of the choices on its’ own. We are not disciplined enough to even make our own choices this often result in us doing things we often end up regretting.
To love is a commitment. We do not have love as an emotion or state of mind inbuilt within us rather we are designed with a very big capacity to give and receive love. That is why Jesus continues to affirm throughout the New Testament that we should love one another. So, whenever you see yourself loving someone more than others, it’s not due to a deep sensation within the belly or any form of feeling or emotion, it’s because you choose to love that person more than others.
Do not allow sentiments or popular trend to determine the choices you accept in your life. Each time you see someone and you discover that you hate the person, it’s not natural, it’s a choice you made so therefore, the best thing is for you to examine yourself and find out if you were actually the one that made the choice or was it your mind. Your capacity to love is infinite, you can’t hate unless you choose to neither can you love unless you choose to.
Always be careful, look within and be sure it’s you who is actually making those choices, not your mind for it can be very deceitful.
Remember, consistency is key
#NEWLIVING
