It wasn’t just another version of me and you kind of secret relationship. We jointly made our intention known to both parents. We also formerly carried her own pastor along. He invited us over to his office and asked us some deep questions. At some points, he separated us and asked us a particular question individually.
He asked me: “Tell me one thing you see in her that you want to marry her?” My response was very direct and simple: “she is caring.”
“Why do you want to marry him?” The pastor asked my wife separately. I wasn’t there with them. To his amazement, she said: “he is caring.”
We both answered exactly the same thing without any prior knowledge of what kind of question the minister would ask from us and what our responses should be. As if rehearsed, we got it right the same way. From my part, I looked around and the only thing visible to me at this point of our relationship was care.
We care about each other’s feelings, trying not to be selfish (I didn’t say we’re unselfish!), and making sure that we show genuine interest in each other’s affairs. My hurt become her hurt and her pain my pain. True love is like that. It is genuine. It is sacrificial, it does not seek its own always. It is unconditionally caring. It is this kind of love that can sustain a home.
True love is a shield, it protects your relationship from external attacks. You can’t tell me you are in a relationship with someone and at the same time, you are dating another person. What a gambling love? That is not genuine love.
Genuine love is pure, selfless and faithful. Its focus is primarily on the object of its love. It does not seek for extra comfort outside its domain. It is a mature love. It is baseless. It does not just love because of, it loves in spite of. It loves you for who you are, not what you have. It does not seek for its own, it seeks the good of the other person.
Does this kind of love really exist on earth?
Maybe yes! At least, I have tasted it. I mean I am in love. So, I can describe its innate nature. Love sleeps with me and wakes me up every day. If you are interested to know how, please ask my dearest wife.
We left the pastor’s office jubilating. Here we are, two love birds ready to fly. We did fly, but you will soon find out that to every story of love, there are pages of pain. Just as there is no success without sacrifice, so also is no gain without pain. There is no road of love that is ever smooth, you will need to pass through some rough paths.
Some of the love stories you watch in Nollywood, Bollywood, Dollywood or Hollywood are not real, there are bunch of fabricated sensual stories that are far from the reality of life. The beautiful love stories, moonlight, roses, romance, fade-outs, candle lights and sex adventure they show you are nothing but concocted professional lies.
A girl who got pregnant at sixteen once attested to this truth in her horrible experience when she commented ―“Everything you read in books about love is a bunch of lies. It isn’t tender; it isn’t sweet and enduring. It is cruel and it hurts.”
Is love cruel or bad? Not at all. Love is good, sweet and life-transforming. You can’t define love by your own horrible experience alone. Love is always good, godly and gorgeous!
In the midst of our beautiful love experience, we faced a lot of challenges. Stage by stage, phase by phase, our wonderful challenges continue. I call the challenges wonderful because they were meant to break us apart, which happened at many instances, but at last, they ended up strengthen us.
What are the challenges you should be expecting in your relationship? What were the root causes of own challenges and how did we face and conquer them one after the other? How can you manage difficult crisis in your relationship? These and many other relationship stuffs we will be looking at in the remaining part of this series.
Thanks for reading!